An unexpected pregnancy can definitely leave you feeling like you’re not sure how you’ll handle this sudden surprise in your life. You probably have several questions. How do you tell the father or your parents? Maybe you’re in college, or you’ve got big career plans. No matter what your situation, to put it simply . . . this just wasn’t in the picture.
The main thing you need to know right now is that you really need an advocate – someone who is in your corner, and who knows how to educate you about what’s going on in your body. And there are a couple of things you need to know before you get started.
Slow down, take time to breathe.
If you’ve done a home test, you really need to have a medical-grade test done in a clinic office. Home tests aren’t always the most accurate, so you need this next step to verify your pregnancy in order to make the next decision.
After your test, it’s a good idea to have a consultation with a nurse about having a sonogram. Why? Because a sonogram can tell you many things that you really need to know, like if your pregnancy is viable. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and it’s entirely possible that your body may be naturally taking care of itself in a miscarriage. This may occur as early as one week or up to 12 weeks.
A licensed and trained nurse will be looking for several things in your sonogram:
1. Is the pregnancy in the uterus and not outside of the uterus. A pregnancy outside of the uterus is called “ectopic” and occurs in the fallopian tubes. This is not a viable pregnancy.
2. Determine if the baby has a heartbeat.
3. Determine how far along you are by measuring the baby and the dates you have given.
Each one of these factors into making your decision. Once the sonogram is performed and the nurse has checked each of these important points, they can then advise you of how far along you are. In the event of a medical emergency, you should be immediately referred to a medical doctor.
All of these steps can be performed here in our medical clinic, all at no cost to you. But we take an additional step – that of assigning an advocate to you. Your advocate can talk through your options with you, and help you process the information you have been given. They are highly trained, and truly want what is best for you.
Many of our advocates have in their past been in exactly the same place as you are now – facing an unplanned pregnancy and desperately needing information, education and support. Take your time with your advocate to make this decision, and talk through all of your options. They are there solely for you so that you don’t have to be alone. When you know what’s going on in your body, you can be educated about what abortion is.
It’s important to take time to learn about the after effects of abortion. You should learn about the emotional trauma and physical effects that can happen. One in four women have been affected by abortion and by the time many women turn 40, they will have experienced two abortions. They often describe their regrets and trauma as being similar to PTSD that military families go through.
One of our Advocates shared this about her own story and what she wants others to know now:
As a woman who has experienced an unplanned pregnancy and chose abortion myself, I feel you owe it to yourself to be educated to know all the facts of how it will affect you and your child. Once you are pregnant, you are a mom. It doesn’t matter how far along you are – your heart and your mind know that you are a mom. When you experience abortion, your body still knows that there should be a pregnancy. This is when the emotional regrets begin, but often a woman doesn’t understand why she is experiencing these feelings if what she did was “no big deal.”
I didn’t take the time to learn all of the potential outcomes because I knew I was in a crisis. I was scared, alone and I didn’t have a place like Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). I encourage you to learn about your body, learn about fetal development and talk to someone. You might be surprised to know that you are not alone and this is doable. Listen to your heart.
At Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) our goal is to empower women to make educated choices about their health and well-being. We provide medical and educational services before, during and after pregnancies for women and their partners. We can provide answers to all the questions they should be asking before having an abortion…all at no cost! We also offer programs for women who have experienced an abortion in the past and are seeking help and healing.
Your first step, no matter where you are in the process, is as easy as clicking a button to schedule an appointment to come in and just talk with one of our client advocates. No agenda, no pressure, no judgment. Just answers that you are looking for.