Category: Sex Education

Dating today can feel like it comes with unspoken expectations. Things can move quickly from physical intimacy to sex, which can make slowing down feel like an unspoken rejection. But it doesn’t have to be, because more women are starting to question the fast-paced dating standard. Not because they don’t want an enjoyable and romantic relationship, but because they desire emotional stability, intentionality, and safety. 

What is sex-free dating and why are some women choosing it?

Sex-free dating is exactly what it sounds like: choosing to build a romantic relationship without sex. This form of dating is for a season as an intentional approach towards getting to know one another to evaluate long-term compatibility, making room to kindle emotional intimacy and build trust through shared experiences and expressed values. For some women, the choice is rooted in faith. For others, it’s about emotional health, healing, or simply wanting to make decisions in dating with more clarity and intentionality. This approach to dating can free couples from the fog of emotional entanglement, which once bonded by sex can confuse sound reasoning, and allows you to get to know your partner’s values and character. And in return, you make room to be known by your partner.

Is sex-free dating actually realistic in today’s world? It’s a fair question. 

In a culture where sex is often expected early, choosing a different path can feel isolating. You might worry that setting boundaries will push potential partners away or make dating more complicated. But establishing your personal boundaries in dating can also do something very important: it can protect you.  When your boundaries are expressed clearly and early on in a relationship, it clears the air of any unspoken expectations for both of you, allowing room for you to get to know each other on a more personal level at a pace you both can be comfortable with. And while not everyone will understand, that’s okay. Because the right person will respect your boundaries.

How do you set boundaries and protect your emotional safety?

Choosing sex-free dating is one thing. Following through on it is another. And that’s where boundaries come in. 

Boundaries aren’t about creating distance. They’re about creating safety and helping you start with clarity. Decide what you’re comfortable with before you’re alone with your partner. If you want to pursue sex-free dating, choose activities that keep your time together public and intentional. Meet at a restaurant, go to a movie, take a walk, or spend time with friends instead of being alone at home. You can also decide ahead of time not to go back to your date’s apartment or invite them into yours late at night.

Another helpful boundary is setting limits around physical affection before emotions take over in the moment. For example, you may decide you’re comfortable holding hands or hugging, but want to avoid situations that make it harder to stick to your values. When you know your limits, it’s easier to communicate them.

It’s important to be transparent about what you want and communicate it clearly to your date. Keep your language simple. You don’t need to over-explain. A statement like, “I want to take things slow physically,” is enough.

Pay attention to how someone responds. Respect for your boundaries from a potential partner looks like listening, not persuading. If someone tries to push past your boundary or make you feel guilty for it, that’s important to notice. Behavior is a language.

Pressure often shows up subtly and in unspoken behavior. But it can sound like:

• “If you really liked me…”
• “Everyone else is doing this.”
• “Why are you making this a big deal?”

Those moments matter. They reveal whether a relationship is built on respect or expectation. And you deserve relationships where you don’t have to override your own comfort to stay connected.

Research shows that healthy boundaries are directly connected to emotional well-being and relationship satisfaction. And if a relationship consistently challenges your boundaries, it’s okay to step away. That’s not failure. That’s self-respect.

You are worth being fully loved.

There’s no single formula for dating, but there is a way to move through romantic relationships that feels grounded, thoughtful, and safe. You are worth being loved and respected. You’re allowed to slow down. You’re allowed to choose differently. You’re allowed to protect your peace.

Sex-free dating is about guarding yourself from deep emotional harm and protecting your physical health. And if you’re navigating pressure, confusion, or even an unexpected pregnancy, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.

About Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic

Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic serves women and families facing unexpected pregnancies in Overland Park, Kansas. We provide no-cost pregnancy services, education, and support in a compassionate, pressure-free environment. Learn more at twolineskc.com.

What exactly is a STD (also referred to as STI – sexually transmitted infection)?
An STD/STI is an infection passed from person to person through any sexual contact. The infection occurs when bacteria, virus or parasite grows on or in your body. Some STDs/STIs can be cured, and others cannot. For those that cannot be cured, there are medicines to manage symptoms.

Anyone may contract a STD/STI through sexual contact. Over 20 million people are infected each year. These infections affect people from all backgrounds and socio-economic groups. The largest age group for new infections are those aged 15-24. 

Women often have more serious health problems from STDs/STIs than men. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are the most common STIs, and if left untreated, the risk of chronic pelvic pain or ectopic pregnancy increase. Infertility is also a possibility if the STI is left untreated.

It is important to be tested, and if positive, to be treated.

Any sexual partners should also be tested and/or treated to prevent re-infection.

Sources:
www.womenshealth.gov
www.cdc.gov

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Additional articles from Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid):
So You Think You Know All About STD?
STD. . . It Might Hang Around Much Longer Than You Know!
An Honest Conversation About the STI Trichomoniasis
What You Really Need to Know About Gonorrhea
What You Don’t Know CAN Hurt You

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If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted an STD, you should be tested immediately.

Most doctor’s offices can provide testing.

And here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we provide state-of-the-art STD/STI testing . . .
all at no cost whatsoever to you!

Here, you can find compassionate, knowledgeable staff that will not only provide testing for both you and your partner at no cost to you, but can offer the support and direction that you need. It all takes place in a confidential and helpful setting, allowing you to get the answers that you need.

Don’t put it off . . . schedule a confidential, free testing today. Information is your greatest ally.

You need to know!

Written by Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) Nurse Andrea, RN, BSN

Trichomoniasis (aka “Trich”) is a sexually transmitted infection (STI) caused by a protozoan parasite called Trichomonas vaginalis. Most people do not experience any symptoms. It is the most common and most curable STI, but is more common in women than men, and older women are more likely to be infected than younger women. In fact, it is estimated over 3.7 million people are infected with Trich, but only 30% will have symptoms.

Trichomoniasis (Trich) is passed from infected person to an uninfected person during sex. The most commonly affected parts of the body are in the lower genital tract. It is usually transmitted in the genital areas, and not in other parts of the body such as hands or mouth. Infected people without symptoms can still pass Trich to others.

Over 70% of those infected with Trichomoniasis (Trich) do not show any symptoms. Those that do have symptoms range from mild irritation to severe inflammation that may appear 5 to 28 days from exposure (infection). Symptoms may also come and go. Men may experience itching or irritation, burning with urination or ejaculation, or even have discharge. Women may have itching, burning, redness or soreness of genitals, discomfort with urination, or discharge with unusual smell that may appear to be clear, white, yellow or green in color.  Having sex while infected with Trich can feel unpleasant.

Without treatment, infection may last months or even years. While infected with Trichomoniasis (Trich), the risk of contracting an additional STI  or spreading other STIs to a partner is increased. A pregnant woman infected with Trich is more likely to have her baby preterm or to have a baby with low birth weight (less than 5.5 lbs).

Trichomoniasis cannot be diagnosed through symptoms alone. A healthcare provider must perform a physical exam and lab test to confirm the infection. A single dose of a prescription antibiotic (such as metronidazole or tinidazole) is recommended for treatment, and can be taken by pregnant women as well. It is not recommended to drink alcohol within 24 hours of taking the medication due to unpleasant side effects. Trichomoniasis may be contracted again even if treated. Approximately 1 in 5 people are infected again within 3 months after treatment. It is important to wait to have sex after being treated until symptoms resolve, which may take about 1 week. If symptoms return, having a follow up exam and lab test is recommended.

The only complete method to prevent STIs such as Trichomoniasis (Trich) is to abstain from sex, or to be in a monogamous committed relationship. Latex condoms can reduce the risk of transmission of STIs but they do not cover all areas that could infect another person.

For more information, visit:
CDC
Mayo Clinic

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If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers. Feel free to contacts us at 913.962.0200 to speak with someone who can help you determine your next steps. Our staff is compassionate, knowledgeable and can offer the support and direction that you need.

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Additional education articles on sexually transmitted diseases:
The Unfortunate Case Of Bacterial Vaginosis
What You Need To Know Now About HPV
Avoiding an Embarrassing Condition
What You Really Need to Know About Gonorrhea

“I think I have a sexually transmitted infection, should I ask the internet, or my doctor?”

Feeling like you have an STI, a sexually transmitted infection (often referred to as an STD), can be a scary thing. Maybe you have a partner that you’re not sure has been faithful to you, or you’re feeling symptoms that have you concerned. It could be that you have just now become sexually active, and you find yourself in a new situation that you’re not sure how to handle. Maybe you get the gut-punch of a partner who tells you, “I have chlamydia, and you have to get treated too.” No matter how you find yourself worried about STI’s, it’s not something you should ignore.

A growing, serious problem that shouldn’t be ignored
Hopefully this article will provide some helpful counsel about understanding STI’s and the risks that go along with them. STI’s should be taken seriously. The challenge is that many sexually transmitted infections have no symptoms, or they are very mild. Also, many people feel embarrassed to go to a clinic or a doctor because they don’t want anyone to know. There are some people who know that they’re infected, but they don’t seek treatment because they don’t realize the risks of untreated infections.

Unfortunately, according to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), numbers of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are at an all-time high in the United States. 2017 was the 4^th straight year in which STI’s are rising, and there’s no sign of the trend slowing down. The CDC went so far as to call it a public health crisis.  A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) looked at users of the online platform Reddit who posted on their STI message board. Of all the users on this message board, 58% of them were asking other users to help diagnose their sexually transmitted infection, some going so far as to post pictures of their symptoms.

Why would somebody go to an online message board instead of a medical clinic?
It could be because getting an online opinion takes a fraction of the time that going to the doctor does.  It’s also free, unlike many clinics. Also, the shame related to the diagnosis of an STI keeps some people from seeing a doctor. They’d rather get an anonymous opinion online and try to handle it themselves.

Why that’s a really, really bad idea . . .
Here is the problem with getting an online opinion: they’re frequently wrong. A wrong diagnosis can cause someone to think they’re fine when they’re not, which can lead them to spreading a disease to unsuspecting partners or just going untreated themselves.

So why is that a big deal? Here are some risks related to the three most common STI’s:

Chlamydia: It’s a bacterial infection that can spread to the uterus and fallopian tubes, causing PID (pelvic inflammatory disease). Long term, it can cause pelvic pain, increased risk of ectopic pregnancy, and increased risk of infertility. In men, it can cause rare complications of testicular problems and sometimes infertility.

Gonorrhea: This infection is caused by bacteria that can infect the urethra, rectum, throat or cervix. If it’s not treated, it can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease, infertility, and pregnancy complications. In men, it can cause epididymitis and can lead to infertility. Gonorrhea can also spread to joints and cause fever, rash, skin sores and swelling.

Syphilis: Syphilis is a bacterial infection that starts as a painless sore — typically on your genitals, rectum or mouth. Sometimes the sore can be hidden in the vagina or rectum and since it’s painless, it can go unnoticed. It resolves in 2-3 weeks and if not treated, the secondary stage begins. The secondary stage involves a rash that covers the body, even hands and feet, followed by aches, fever, and even hair loss. This phase can come and go as long as you’re infected. If still untreated, it can infect other organs of the body and even the brain. Syphilis can also be passed to a baby during birth.

What CAN you do? What SHOULD you do?
So, what should you do? If you’re worried about an STI, go get treatment! Online opinions are not a real answer. Only a medical test can tell you for sure if you have an infection or you don’t. Until you are treated, you are contagious and can spread the infection to your sexual partners. Treatment is either an antibiotic pill, or injection or both, depending on which STI you have. You should also be re-tested 3 months after treatment to make sure that it was effective.

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If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers.

All you have to do is privately schedule an appointment to come in and speak with one of our many nurses. They can administer an STD test, and discuss results and next steps with you. They are knowledgeable, compassionate and can offer the support and direction you need.

Best of all, there is no charge whatsoever for the test, the appointment or the appointment.

You deserve to know. Take control of your own health!

Why Should I Be Concerned about STDs?
If you are having sex with one or more partners, then you need to be concerned and know about Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD). Regardless of your age or number of partners, it is important to know the facts.

How common are STDs?
The United States has an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).
Over 70 million Americans currently have an STD. This is roughly 20 percent of the entire US population. Nineteen million new cases occur each year. Half of these are in people under 25.

What causes STDs?
STDs develop from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) which can be caused by bacteria (chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis), viruses (HIV/AIDS, hepatitis, herpes, HPV), or parasites (trichomoniasis). Chlamydia is the most common STD. Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common viral STD, and some strains can cause cervical cancer.

How do you get STDs?
You get an STD during sexual activity. This includes vaginal sex, oral sex, and anal sex.

Why are STDs called the “Silent Epidemic”?

* 25% of all American ages 15 to 55 are infected.
* 50 – 80% of those infected don’t know it.
* Those who know it, often don’t tell.
* Infections with no symptoms can still be spread.

Are condoms effective?
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention found after reviewing 138 scientific studies in June 2006* that there is no clinical proof that condoms are effective in reducing the risk of infection from chlamydia, genital herpes, HPV, syphilis, or trichomoniasis. Some protection was found for men against gonorrhea infection, but not for women. Condoms were found to reduce the risk of HIV/AIDS transmission during vaginal sex by 85% when used consistently (every time a person has sex, without exception) and “correctly” (following a specific 6 step procedure). Using condoms 100% of the time still leaves a 15% risk of HIV infection compared to not using condoms at all. HIV is the virus that causes AIDS, a non-curable disease.

What this means is that you can be infected with any STD even when using condoms 100% of the time.

*Centers for Disease Control and Preventions, Department of Health and Human Services, 

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If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted and STD, you should contact your doctor immediately for an appointment.

However, if you are not ready to talk to a doctor, it could be helpful to discuss your symptoms, concerns and options in a confidential and helpful setting with someone who has answers.

All you have to do is privately schedule an appointment to come in and speak with one of our many nurses. They can administer an STD test, and discuss results and next steps with you. They are knowledgeable, compassionate and can offer the support and direction you need.

Best of all, there is no charge whatsoever for the test, the appointment or the appointment.

You deserve to know. Take control of your own health!

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Additional education articles on sexually transmitted diseases:
The Unfortunate Case Of Bacterial Vaginosis
What You Need To Know Now About HPV

It is important to know how to prevent STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases, also known commonly as STI’s – sexually transmitted infections).

But what about long-term effects? If they are treated immediately, are you “out of the woods?” Are there long-term effects that you should know about?

The short answer is: yes. There are long-term effects of many STD’s. And it’s important that you have all the facts that you need.

Chlamydia
First, the most common bacterial STD in the United States is Chlamydia (click the link to read more about it on our blog). This infection can be virtually symptom-free in up to 85% women; however, the cervix is the most likely to be affected by this bacteria. Symptoms include change in discharge, bleeding after sex, and bleeding outside of monthly cycle. The Chlamydia test is a routine one, and is offered through most doctor’s offices, as well as here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). Chlamydia can cause a serious infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which may lead to sepsis, shock, abscess, and even death. PID can lead to scarring of the Fallopian tubes, which could increase the risk of infertility and ectopic pregnancy (baby implanting in the tubes/ovary instead of the uterus). Chlamydia can also cause an eye infection in your baby if you are infected at delivery.

Gonorrhea
Gonorrhea is another common bacterial STD. Again, the cervix is the most commonly affected area. Symptoms are similar to Chlamydia – bleeding, change in discharge, itching, abdominal pain. Gonorrhea is also associated with PID. Gonorrhea may also lead to Fitz-Hugh-Curtis syndrome, a chronic liver disease. Gonorrhea can also cause an eye infection in your baby; babies receive ointment in their eyes at the time of birth to prevent this infection.

HPV
Human papillomavirus (HPV) is the most common STD in the US, with 20 million men and women affected. This is the cause of genital warts. However, HPV leads to cervical changes that may cause cancer. Pap smears check the cervix for these precancerous changes. In the long term, HPV can lead to several different types of cancers.

Herpes
Herpes simplex is another common viral STD. Both type 1 and type 2 can cause genital herpes. It is estimated that 16% of people aged 14-49 are infected. Herpes leads to lifelong infection of painful outbreaks. It is highly contagious, and most people don’t know they have it until their first outbreak. This requires antiviral medications for life. Babies born to mothers with active lesions are born with lesions all over their body, brain infections, and blindness.

Syphilis
Syphilis is caused by bacteria as well. A common symptom of syphilis could be an open, painless sore that is often mistaken as a seemingly harmless bump. This disease, without treatment, can cause rashes, heart disease, and brain infections. Babies born to these mothers are usually deaf, have teeth malformations, and brain malfunction. This disease is treated with penicillin.

These are just a few of the most common STD’s. Most of these are treatable, but their possible long-term effects can be extremely severe, both to you and to possible future pregnancies. It’s important that you have all of the facts before you decide to have sex. One moment of passion could lead to a lifetime of unintended consequences.

Make sure your choices are fully informed before you make them.

— Information taken from UpToDate, an evidence based medical database.

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If you (or someone you know) suspects that you might have contracted an STD, you should be tested immediately.

Most doctor’s offices can provide testing, as well as here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid).

What you will find at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid):
Compassionate, knowledgeable staff
Testing at no cost
Support and direction for next steps that you need to take
It all takes place in a confidential and helpful setting, allowing you to get the answers that you need.

Don’t put it off . . . schedule a confidential, free testing today. Information is your greatest ally.

You need to know!