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Category: A Better You!

How to Plan for a Stress-Free Spring Break (without any of the unwanted!)

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From gray clouds to open skies

After stress of finals, classes, due dates, and assignments, spring break is a much-needed getaway from reality and our everyday lives. Stretching out poolside or taking a trip to the beach lets us recharge and take a hiatus. No matter how you spend your spring break, it’s a fun, memory-filled week. While it can be the experience of a lifetime, spring break can also be the breeding ground of reckless behavior that may change your life in a way you weren’t looking for. For many, spring break is an opportunity to let loose with a whole lot of alcohol and a whole lot of sex. While it sounds really fun, it’s actually a scenario that can produce sexually transmitted infections, sexual assault, and unwanted pregnancies.

Saying no to the “norm” (and having fun while doing it!)

We want memories to be the only thing you’re bringing back home. It may seem like everybody is having casual sex, but if you are not comfortable with the idea or don’t want to have any worries about STIs or pregnancy…it is okay to say no to sex. Alcohol can hinder your decision-making skills, especially regarding sex. “Beer goggles” can make you see someone as very attractive, when your sober self doesn’t think so. They also make it easier to forget about long term consequences of casual hook-ups.

So, what would a sex-free spring break look like?
A stress-free Spring Break!

If you simply decide not to engage in casual hook-ups, you will have absolutely no worries about STIs and unwanted pregnancies. Imagine a vacation where you don’t have to stress about emotional uncertainties, condoms, Plan B, getting pregnant, getting an STI, awkward encounters, etc. It allows you to enjoy the sun without any other consequences. And isn’t the point of spring break to relax? It’s best to keep yourself safe to have the best time possible.

Tips for a safe and fun week

While there are always potential risks, you can still ensure you have a great time on your trip by just simply having a game plan before diving in. Creating a strategy ahead of time can ensure you avoid any dangerous situations. How will everyone look out for each other? What to do if someone gets hurt? Deciding these things prior to the trip will make it easier to make smart and safe decisions later on.

Make sure you travel as a pack and stay together! Always be on the lookout for predatory behavior, your friends’ body language, date rape drugs – and always trust your instincts. If a situation is making you feel uncomfortable or in danger, tell your friends and get out of the situation.

Spring break is a lot of people’s favorite memory. Keeping yourself safe is the easiest way to make sure you have the most fun and keep it your favorite memory too!

Always remember that you can call us here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) if your spring break didn’t go quite as planned. If you’re in need of STD testing, pregnancy testing/counseling, or even just someone to talk to, make an appointment . . . or even just stop by (walk-ins are always welcome!).

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On Becoming a Grandparent – An Extension of Our Life and Influence

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Pregnancy does not just affect the individual female and male involved – it also affects the parents of those individuals. Parents hold a unique position in the lives of their children, no matter how young or old that child is. One father/doctor offers a beautiful perspective of the special opportunity being a grandparent is.

This past March a very significant and joyful event happened in our family. My oldest daughter had a beautiful baby girl. I found out that this baby was coming by accident before I was supposed to know about it. I kept this knowledge a secret until my daughter announced her pregnancy to the family. This was difficult because I normally don’t keep significant secrets from my wife. It was interesting to be on the “other side” of this experience. I am involved in the birth of babies on a daily basis, but I never had an experience like this. Waiting in the family waiting room for my daughter to give birth was driving me crazy; I was so worried about her and the baby and worried they would have a complication. It gave me a greater empathy for the families of my patients. Even though I knew she was in good hands, the relief I felt when she finally delivered and I knew everyone was ok was immense. Seeing my granddaughter for the first time took me back 27 years to St John’s Medical Center when I witnessed the birth of my own daughter – my granddaughter is practically a clone of my daughter and it is difficult to distinguish between their baby pictures. Her smile and laugh is the same as my daughters was. She is truly a bundle of joy.

To me, having grandchildren is an extension of my own life. Our time on this earth is limited . . . but our descendants carry our lives forward when we are gone. Part of my father is in me and part of both he and I are in my daughter and granddaughter. I am happy that God created the world this way.

As grandparents I think it is important to share our values with our children and grandchildren. They live in a different world than we grew up in and our love and empathy mean so much to them.

I have always been perplexed when parents encourage their children to end a pregnancy.
To me, that would seem like destroying a part of myself.

I frequently meet patients that have never formed an opinion about abortion until they were facing it as an option – this is tragic! As grandparents, we should discuss these things with our descendants. Being a grandparent is a life changing event and we should let our loved ones know this.

The influence you have on your children is stronger than you could ever imagine. You offer a unique view that no one else can.

Is your child facing a tough decision regarding their future? We have resources that you can pass along as well as take advantage of yourself. Let us help you as you help them.  Come in and talk to us. We have people on site who can relate to you because they have been in your shoes . . . and those who can relate to your pregnant loved one because they have been in those shoes! You just might find some hope and answers for all involved!

 

Crazy Chaos and Fierce Love – A Mom’s Life

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The love of a Mom. Nothing is more fierce, and nothing more exhausting!

As we look ahead to Mother’s Day, we wanted to hear from a mom who had plenty of experience at this “toughest job you’ll ever love.” Humorous, honest and helpful . . . her words can give hope and encouragement to other mother’s out there – whether their “baby” is in college, or yet to be born!

A crazy life
“Can I PLEASE just get five minutes of PEACE?!” Hmmm… I wonder how many times I’ve thought this to myself since becoming a mom. But I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

My husband and I had five baby girls in under eight years. So we knew we were signing up for a crazy world. As we get ready to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, it is amazing to look back on the whole whirlwind. Our lives changed forever the moment we saw that first positive pregnancy test. I instantly felt I was needed like I’ve never felt needed before. I guess that was my very first experience as a mom. And so it went from there.

We began talking about having kids right when we started dating. Having been friends for three years already, we knew each other well, had a pretty good sense we were headed for marriage, and definitely shared a love of babies. I’d always loved kids and spent a lot of time babysitting, nannying, working daycare, and eventually, teaching preschool and elementary ages. Despite all my experience, and even though we desperately wanted a family, becoming first-time parents was HARD! That 6 lb, 3 oz little peanut rocked our world.

Finding support, community, and balance
New Daddy and I were the first of our close friends and siblings to have kids, and we were living long distance from all the grandparents. It took a while to find the day-to-day sanity support we really needed. As time went on and our family grew, I became better and better at reaching out to other moms. This made all the difference in the world for me, especially being at home full time. I learned there are so many universal mom experiences, and I learned to laugh at these kid “truths.” For example, three year olds try your patience hands-down like nobody else. Five year olds say hilarious things. And, well, thirteen year old girls are totally nuts. Years later I still get a unique kind of reassurance from my friendships with other moms. It’s made me realize even the most fiercely independent people need to lean on others.

Any parent can tell you having kids is a challenging, exhausting, and humbling job.
But for every challenge, there is something amazing and wonderful to balance it.

That first eyes-locked sweet smile from your baby far outweighs your sleep deprivation. Those priceless quotes far outweigh any potty-training battle. And the excitement of starting high school far outweighs the frustration with your teenager’s heaps of dirty laundry.

A stronger marriage
It also goes without saying that parenting puts a new kind of stress on a marriage. My sweet husband and I have faced a lot – the heartbreak of a miscarriage, medical issues we never expected, anxiety I had to learn how to manage, financial puzzles to solve, and a house literally falling apart. But God helped us through and continues to guide the way. We are stronger as a couple. Period.

Treasure found and joy to come
Sometimes I’m relieved the years with so many little ones are over, but most days I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. The ride continues and these days we’re having a blast with road trips, college visits, an abundance of sports, and watching these teen/tween sisters become closer and closer – even in the midst of fights and drama. What a gift they will always be to each other. I know my own sister is my life! It’s fun to think about our family continuing to evolve and have new adventures, like moving each of the girls into a dorm over the next ten years. With all the “firsts” that lie ahead, I guess I’ll always feel like a new mom in some way. Wow – how did MY mom do it? Raising me definitely wasn’t a cake walk!

Here at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center), we are here to help with the unplanned.

But we are also here to provide support when you do plan and life still gets harder than you planned. Finding support in the hard times of life is crucial! We can help you find the love, support, and community you desperately need, whether you feel prepared for life or not.

Set up an appointment today and we will get you plugged in to a community of support that will last a lifetime!

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Spring Break Is Here – Where Will It Leave You?

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Wiping away winter blues
It’s that time of year again. The sun is beginning to warm up the city, the birds and colors of green are coming in around us, and the students cooped up with the stress of midterms begin to have dreams of beaches, poolside views and parties with friends. 

Spring break is here – can we all breathe a sigh of relief for that? Who besides me is totally done with winter and with being cooped up inside a classroom on some of these gorgeous days? Who else is ready for Padre Island and Daytona Beach with your girls? Group selfie for the ‘gram! 

But let’s be honest with ourselves here. Of the literal thousands of students who frequent popular spring break locations, a lot of them come home with a lot more than they bargained for. The massive numbers of people, party atmosphere, and constant flow of alcohol make this the perfect time to pick up an STD, become a victim of sexual assault, or be faced with an unplanned pregnancy. 

The facts
In a recent poll from Family First LLC, three out of five women on spring break knew a friend who was having unprotected sex.  57% said that sexual activity was seen as a way to fit in and 74% said they saw drinking as an excuse for outrageous behavior. 59% knew of someone who had been sexually active with more than one partner, and sadly 12% reported they themselves regretted sexual activity on spring break or felt forced or coerced into having sex.  

Spring break tips
There are several strategies you can implement this spring break to help ensure a fun and relaxing time for both you and your girls. A good rule of thumb is to make important decisions while sober and before you are in pressured situations. How much are you going to drink tonight? Who are you going to take with you and how will you look out for each other? Deciding these things ahead of time can make it easier to make decisions that you are going to be comfortable with later on. 

Travel with a group and watch out for each other! Make sure if you go to a party, you are with girls who you know have your back no matter what. Help each other watch out for the signs of date rape drugs, predatory behavior, or anything that you feel is “off”. Make sure everyone is accounted for when you leave the party, and don’t be afraid to leave early if something is making you uncomfortable!

And you’ve heard it a million times, but drink responsibly. Keep an eye on your drink, pace yourself, eat beforehand, and remember that you have nothing to prove to anyone. 

Always remember that you can call us here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) if your spring break didn’t go quite as planned. If you’re in need of STD testing, pregnancy testing/counseling, or even just someone to talk to, call our 24 hour hotline at 913-962-0200.

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Riding Out The Storms . . . The Emotional Kind

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The news these days is absolutely full of stories of storms. They are even named . . . Harvey, Irma, Jose. The damage, destruction and disruption they bring are devastating to the people in their path. Our hearts break for those who have lost so much. We give what help we can, but otherwise sit back, feeling somewhat helpless.

Physical storms of this magnitude are somewhat rare. But emotional storms brought on by circumstances and choices can invade our lives at any moment. And while their destruction isn’t near as visible on the outside, they can be absolutely overwhelming on the inside.

Keep reading as one of our long-time friends here shares the story of a physical storm she recently went through – and the similarities that storm had with many other, internal storms. Stay with it until the end – there is hope!

The dog kept pacing back and forth. I could hear the wind howling though all the doors were shut. The reflection of lightning flashed brightly on the window blinds. Then, all of a sudden, I began to hear a tap-tap-tap. The sound grew louder and louder and I realized it was hail. The weather man on tv was talking about other areas in the city that were under a tornado warning.

The entire day had been gloomy, windy and unseasonably warm. I understand that often those are just the conditions to watch out for. And then of course, the storm eventually hit.
Physical storms can be very scary. They manifest themselves in heavy rains, wind, hail, thunder, and lighting. While we are in these storms, they can easily intimidate us, making us feel like we have lost control.

Sound familiar? Perhaps you are facing a similar storm in your own life. Not a physical storm that is characterized by wind, rain and thunder, but something that can feel even more threatening: emotional storms brought on by life.

Circumstances come our way that seem to shake us like we have never been shaken before. People say things that ring in our ears like loud thunder. Even well-meaning people in our lives can sometimes push and pull us in directions that we aren’t sure we want to go. Regret and fear can pound through our thoughts with the strength of a mighty storm, drowning out all other thoughts. The life road ahead can get completely shrouded in clouds and uncertainty, leaving us unsteady on our feet; unsure of which direction to go.

But yet . . .

The physical storm that blew through the other night? When it had passed, and the thunder had subsided, the sun came out and the sky looked like someone wiped everything clean. The storm damage was still there, but a new day came, bright and sunny.

The same is true with life. We don’t stay in the storms. Sometimes, they seem like they will never end. But they always do. The calm returns, the sky turns blue, and the sun comes out.

To those who are in the storm right now, hang on, my friend. It won’t last forever. Don’t let yourself think that you will always be in the storm. Don’t make decisions during the storm that you would never make in the sunshine.

Because invariably . . . always . . . the sun will shine in your life again someday.

Do you find yourself in a storm right now – one that seems it will never end? Could you use a listening ear, some sound advice, and a friend who can help bring some calm to your storm?

That’s why we are here. Remember, making life-changing decisions in the middle of a storm is seldom a good idea. Talk to us. You just may start to see the sun peeking out from the clouds!

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Shacking. Small Word . . . Big Consequences

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Shacking. What an innocent-sounding term for something that can turn out to be anything but innocent.

If you aren’t familiar with the term “shacking,” the best way to describe it would be when two people “hook up” for a night, but one slips out, unnoticed, early the next morning. We see it portrayed in movies all the time, usually in a college atmosphere. The characters shack up for a night while drunk, and then don’t remember what happened by the next morning. Often, it’s supposed to be funny. Sounds pretty harmless, right? But what if there are long-term consequences that come from this? Suddenly, it’s not so funny OR harmless.

Obviously, pregnancy and STDs are the first of the consequences that come to mind. And while these are very real possibilities that should never be taken lightly, there is something else that needs to be considered. There is a very real – very serious – emotional aspect to shacking that someone needs to be talking about.

The honest fact is, bouncing from person to person for just a few minutes
of pleasure will eventually leave you feeling empty and meaningless.

Of course, we’re told today that women can do anything they want with their bodies. And they are right . . . we can. But just because we CAN do it doesn’t mean that it is good or that we SHOULD do it.

The point of this is not to sound judgmental, but rather to be a motivation for you. We are here to motivate you to love. No, not finding someone else to love. But rather, learning to love yourself.

Loving yourself means that you see yourself for the amazing, incredible person that God created. Having love – and respect – for yourself is something that no one else has power over. It is yours.

One college student summed up her transformation – and advice – this way:

After hitting rock bottom my freshman year of college from being involved with the partying lifestyle, I was absolutely disgusted with the person I became.

After transferring to (a different college), I decided to change my lifestyle and really fall in love with the beautiful life God had before me. Channel your energy toward your goals, education and people who want to build you up and I can guarantee you will feel so much better.

Travel the world, audition for a role in the play, join an organization or set a new goal to become the best version of you possible. Then when you are genuinely happy with who you are, someone special will come along. When you find another soul who is equally as goofy, spontaneous and challenges you to be a better version of yourself, then that is when you have got it right.

Allowing the right person to enter your own weird little world is one of the most breathtaking things anyone can have.

So girls, you want to truly be in control of your body? Realize that your body is a temple and should be treated with care and respect.

Suddenly, “shacking” doesn’t seem so glamorous after all!

Sometimes, making that decision to respect your body can be a difficult one; especially if you are making a lifestyle change. What you need is a friend to listen to your heart and help you figure out the steps you need to take to change. We can be that friend.

No judgment.
No agenda.
Just compassion and honesty.

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