Category: A Better You!

Social media, the entertainment industry, and even friends can lead you to believe that sex in short-term relationships is the right of a liberated female population.

Here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we are all about empowering women. We are even run by some very strong and empowered women. We are also all for speaking honesty into your life and telling you the truth about where short-term sexual relationships can leave you.

The truth is, sex without a long-term commitment (like marriage) will always leave you vulnerable. Vulnerable to STI’s, vulnerable to an unplanned pregnancy, but also vulnerable to lowered self-value.

No matter how much our culture normalizes sex, it will always be an act of intimacy. Even in casual relationships, it forces you to open yourself up to the other person and surrender yourself to them. While many women enjoy the short-term pleasures of sex, this intimacy can leave you feeling lonely when it is over and your partner doesn’t stick around.

Sex won’t make your date stay with you. Sex is not an act that means he loves you. It can only be an act of affection after the love (and commitment that demonstrates true love) has already been formed.

You have the power to say no to your date’s sexual advances.

You have the power to choose to love yourself and value yourself.

You do not need a man to tell you your value or worth.

You were made unique and special, no one will ever be the same as you.

 

And until a man not only tells you he believes these things about you, but commits to you with more then just words, he doesn’t deserve to be with you in an intimate way.

The harsh truth is, if your date decides he doesn’t want to stick around because you won’t have sex with him, he surely won’t be sticking around when you go through an STI diagnosis or an unplanned pregnancy.

Value yourself for the special women you are.
Wait for the right partner who will see your worth. Sex within in a committed long-term relationship has the power to make you feel loved and completed, instead of empty and abandoned.

Choose now to pursue this kind of soul-fulfilling path.

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Look, we totally get it. The pressures you feel today are unreal. Sex is everywhere we look, and saying “NO” of any kind isn’t exactly valued. But we see far more value in you than just your sexuality.

Sometimes, strong women lean on other strong women to help them stay strong. And that’s where we come in. Even if you are wrestling with this issue and just need to talk it through with someone, we are here.

Let our strong women help you, Strong Woman! We are on your side and fighting for you!

There is substantial evidence that what are possibly some of the most beautiful things in the world almost weren’t in the world because they weren’t given a chance.  They were almost not here.  They were almost undone. 

Consider your favorite, most moving musical score or song.  Think about that book that you read over and over again.  How about the influencer you follow the most or that person you’ll never be able to thank enough for what they did… or for who they’ve been to you?  What would life be like without the talents of the inventor of the Oreo cookie or even something as overlooked as vanilla extract?

What if these things that inspire our senses had never been valued by the ones that worked to develop them?  What if the chance had never been offered to humans that have inspired us in countless ways because they were prematurely judged to be disposable or simply not worth the work?

There are stories out there that give us pause to consider what our world would be like had some of it’s more inspiring people not been given a chance.  Famous stories have been shared about unknown mothers that almost aborted children that have beautifully shaped the world.  Justin Bieber, Andrea Bocelli and Tim Tebow are only a few of the close calls.  They, and so many others that we may never realize, were almost victims of abortion.  Their influence was almost cut off.  Their imprint on our lives almost wasn’t because their lives were almost undone.

Consider also the children that are born into arms that know they cannot offer what is needed so they lovingly surrender their children to others.  Other arms that can offer what is needed.  Other arms that will carry their children to places someone else is dreaming of.  Beautiful places that one cannot yet conceive already planned in the minds of others.

There is a beautiful song from Les Misérables called “I Dreamed a Dream.” When well sung, it reduces the listener to tears.  In 2009 there was a woman, considered old and unattractive by most, that walked onto the stage of Simon Cowell’s show “Britain’s Got Talent.”  People rolled their eyes and everyone became an instant judge – determining that she was a zero-talent joke.  When asked why she hadn’t already become famous her response was, “I never gave it a chance before.”  Susan Boyle beautifully gave them a different message because she was giving the beautiful thing in her a chance. 

Just recently, many were moved to tears by a Superbowl commercial for Toyota featuring a Paralympic swimmer named Jessica Long.  Her story inspires because her life rebukes that thing inside of us that whispers the lie that we will not thrive in life unless everything is how we want it to be.  Her adoptive parents, and now the world, think differently.  She was given a chance and adopted from Russia at 13 months of age.  She had two severely malformed legs.  Her birth mom, only 16 and unable to care properly for her, chose to send her to arms that could lift her higher than she knew she would be able to at that tender age.  Jessica ended up being a Paralympic swimmer that inspired our hurting world on Superbowl Sunday because she was given a chance. 

Toyota’s tagline expresses it well:  “We believe there is hope and strength in all of us.”  We at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) believe that, too.  There is hope and strength in all of us that only needs to be given some kind of a chance.

I wonder at the beauty that was not cut short by the fact that Jessica Long’s birth mother gave her life a chance.  I’m swept with emotion at the beauty that Susan Boyle allowed to be birthed through her despite all of the jeers and dismissals by the audience.  That same audience that assumed nothing good could come out of someone like Susan Boyle (unsuccessful, unattractive by our standards, and unemployed) was schooled in the few seconds it took her to birth a beautiful song in front of them.

I guess the question all of us could ask is this:  what beautiful thing could be birthed in front of us if we would only give it a chance and not judge it to be incapable of greatness?

It might be time to rethink our fears and assumptions and let something beautiful begin.

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“That’s all beautiful,” you may think. “But if I have to do this alone, no matter how beautiful it may be, I simply can’t.”

We understand that. And we’re here to say . . . You don’t have to do this alone!

From friendship to medical help, classes and training to tangible items that you need – we can help provide it. No cost to you. Just your willingness to let us come alongside you and help.

So how about it? Are you ready to see that beautiful thing in your life happen?

The following was written by one of our staff members here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid); someone who has walked through pregnancies – planned and unplanned, wanted and unwanted – with many.

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Before the days of over-analysis, back when a cake was a cake was a cake, I had my share of it.  I never had the thought that one cake might be better than the other… or that the ingredients in the cake would make it taste any less enjoyable.  “Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee,” so the branding says.  It was cake, it was there and it was good. 

Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) is based in Kansas City – home of the Chiefs and our newest love, Patrick Mahomes.  We do love us some Mahomey here in Kansas City!  Here, there, and practically everywhere you go nobody doesn’t like Patrick Mahomes.  He’s a treat for all of us:  talented, kind and a source of hope.  He is a long-awaited victor in the land of almost and on a field of loss.  We do love him, and rightly so. 

When he announced that he and his soon-to-be fiancée were expecting a baby, this town roared to its feet!  Not only did we have a prodigy, but this talented dad’s genes were about to be displayed through his child – a baby Mahomes is to be born unto us and we are elated.

It causes me to pause and wonder why we celebrate and delight in one baby’s coming, yet despise and dread the thought of another baby’s coming.  Is it because it is a different baby with less-talented-appearing genes?  Is it because we know that baby will have no apparent financial footing laid for its life?  Is it possibly because the of the color of the baby’s skin?  Baby Mahomes will have an unexpected blend… as we all actually do. 

In reality, it is because hope is in a life; and we predict that this baby will thrive.  We expect that this baby is meant to be… that this particular child will be a delight, have a great life and will be wondrous.  Maybe because of money… maybe because of genetic potential. But certainly because of our assumptions.

We, at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), are incredibly excited for Baby Mahomes to be born.  We are also excited for the baby born last month who now lives in a temporary shelter with his unemployed, young mom.  We are excited for the baby born last week to an unmarried couple who are both students.  We delight in the Christmas Eve birth of a son to an unmarried, teenage mom… a very familiar sounding story that actually just happened a few weeks ago.  She delights in her Christmas Eve miracle as well, even though she is young, not finished with her education, and unmarried. 

These are real people we know and connect with on a regular basis. We do this because we know that new life has hope.  We know that all new life has potential and that existence matters.

An unsavory tendency is spreading like gangrene in the country.  We take two people, examine them for their circumstances, words, actions and beliefs and then we decide one is worthy of life and celebration, while other is worthy to be disposed of, despised or erased. 

The reality is that if we slow down and really consider what is happening, we will see that both the celebrated and the despised can have incredible gain for the teachable heart.  Both can be thought of with a little more hope or a little less despair for the flexible mind that has not grown so rigid as to think nothing great could be produced in the next few weeks, the next four years or the next nine months. 

Is it possible that when we view a baby with despair or wish to dispose, we might crush the future grandmother that will bake cookies and read stories to our great, great grandchildren long after we are gone? We might crush the future father that we didn’t know we have the capability to raise up. 

Yes, there is joy in simplicity and in accepting that what exists already exists.  There is hope in slowing down and anticipating what could be… what can be.  Potential is already forming.

Truly a cake is a cake is a cake whether we judge it to be better based on ingredients or just accept it for what it is.  A cake is a cake is a cake and will taste good enough if we will simply take a bite and try it.  A baby is a baby is a baby, too.  A person is a person is a person.  A victory is a victory is a victory.  And hope is encapsulated in these things when we can learn to celebrate them all.

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If you, or someone you know, is in a situation where an unplanned pregnancy is throwing you a curve-ball in life, then perhaps a visit with us exactly what is needed.

Simply make an appointment online, and when you come, you will meet with your very own Client Advocate – someone who will walk with you, cry with you, laugh with you, and be there to answer any question you have. For the long haul!

An unplanned pregnancy. The news is enough to cause anyone, in any situation, to be thrown off balance. But no matter the news – no matter the decision – what is important is that you aren’t alone during this time. Friends play a huge part in how we can deal with the surprises of life.

Do you have that kind of friend?

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(The following was written by a long-time supporter and staff member of Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid))

Friends are one of the most important things in our lives. There are different levels of friendship and even certain seasons of life that seem to move us towards a particular type of friend. I remember confiding in a friend when I started thinking I wanted to marry my now-husband. At another time, it was a different set of friends who were there when I was getting ready to have my first child. It was that set of friends who blessed me with a baby shower as I got ready for this new little person.

As I have gotten older, new friendships continue to emerge to the point that at times, they become family. They are the first call you make when you receive difficult news. They are the shoulder you lean on when you get laid off from a job. Those “friends-become-family” are the ones you call when your child is struggling and you need parenting advice or even just sanity words.

Friends are there to laugh with you, to listen to you, to cry with you,
and to do life with you
no matter what.

Sometimes, those special friends aren’t simply a person, but a place made up of special people. One of those places that has become a friend to women in our community is right here: Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center). They are there for families facing an unplanned pregnancy. They are there when a woman gets that positive line on a pregnancy test and feels like her life has just ended. They are there when she comes in to the center wanting another pregnancy test to double check that it really does show a positive result. Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) is there to listen as she wrestles with what choice to make about this unexpected news that she has yet to share with anyone else.

Like a friend, Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) doesn’t expect anything back from this friend. If she decides she wants to continue with the pregnancy, they are there along every step of the way to encourage during that journey. If she chooses to abort, they are there to love on her and wipe away any tears she may have after she goes through that decision. And if that baby comes and she needs help with the things necessary to take care of a newborn, they are there too, showering her with practical help so she can succeed in this new role.

Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) is much more than a place . . . it really is a friend; a long-lasting friend. For the past 30+ years, Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) has been there helping women and men during a season of life that could be considered a very rough time. They do it every day, without judgment and with lots of love.

Just like a close friend.

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Additional articles on how Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) can help during an unplanned pregnancy:
You Are Not Alone
When Pregnancy Wasn’t Part of Your Story
Where Do You Go For Answers When You Are Pregnant?

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If you, or someone you know, is in a situation where an unplanned pregnancy is throwing you a curve-ball in life, then perhaps a visit with a good friend is exactly what is needed.

Simply make an appointment online, and when you come, you will meet with your very own Client Advocate – a friend who will walk with you, cry with you, laugh with you, and be there to answer any question you have. For the long haul!

There is true and lasting friendship here. We’ll be waiting!

The following are some thoughts that were shared with us by one of our nurses here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). While her story is unique to her, it certainly strikes a chord with all of us right now.

You just might find some comfort here as we all mourn the loss of control in our lives!

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We all are experiencing loss of control… but did we ever really have it? 

At the beginning of the pandemic as I watched everyone worry and try to figure out the best thing to do, I realized that what we were all really struggling with was a loss of control.  We didn’t know this virus, we didn’t know how to stop it, we didn’t know how to protect ourselves, our kids or the elderly. What seemed like overnight, we were out of jobs, homeschooling our kids, or working from home. We couldn’t shop, eat and play like we were used to doing. So many parts of our lives were suddenly being dictated by others.

But did we ever really have control to begin with? Control is really an illusion. Reality is that we are realizing that we don’t have control over some of these things after all. My husband likes to joke that I can handle all the big stuff… no worrying or stressing over all the big life events. It’s the little silly stuff that makes me a control freak. I knew that my attitude would affect how my kids handled this interruption to our lives. I wanted to be calm and rational, so they would follow my lead. After hearing lots of stories from friends and family, I felt like we were doing pretty well overall. Then, the second wave hit. I started struggling with all the unknowns. I felt like we were going back to the beginning and starting over. I was not prepared for that.

Our word this year at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) is Envision. Recently, it has become really hard to “envision” the future. Where would this all end? Would it all end? During quarantine, I came across some Scripture that has seemed very timely and relevant:

2 Corinthians 4:16-18
“Therefore, we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 

This verse is a great reminder of where to keep our focus. No matter what’s happening . . . it’s all temporary! 

As we slowly come out of this, I hope that I keep some of the good habits I developed. . . exercising more, enjoying less on the calendar, and spending time with my family. I pray too that I can remember daily to envision a bright future that is waiting for me.

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We are all experiencing loss of control and thoughts that run rampant right now. Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk through what we are feeling with someone who is there to listen and help provide some stability. Our mental health is just as important right now as our physical!

So if you need to talk, we have people – from professional nurses to caring, trained staff – to help support you. We care about and support women, no matter what stage of life or crisis they find themselves in. And right now, crisis is all around us.

Is it time for you to talk to someone?