Category: Stories

Michelle is willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

Her name has been changed but her story is true.

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My name is Michelle.
This is my story of adoption.

Redefining Adoption As A Positive
The word adoption can often have a negative connotative meaning even in today’s era. It can have, attached along with it, a definition from 50 plus years ago, brimming with stigmas and secrets. Images of young girls being sent away for 9 months to an “Aunt’s house” only to hand their child to a nun at the end of their “stay” are called to mind. They often never knew the life that would unfold and were left wondering if they would always be a secret to this tiny baby that had completely stolen their heart. Far too often, women were left with emotional wounds they could never recover from, always regretting their decision. Maybe all you have heard are the bad stories, trickled down from one ear to another. Now it’s time for you to hear a beautiful story, one that will hopefully “update” your definition of adoption. I hope that you see adoption in a brand new light. I am no adoption expert but I have some first-hand experience!

My Personal Experience
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have had people ask me what the meaning is of the three cursive letters, permanently inked into my right wrist. As far as they are concerned, they are asking a very nonchalant question. However, they are almost always surprised when they learn the meaning. My response usually goes a little something like this, “They are my son’s initials. I placed him for adoption but it is open.” They unknowingly opened a door to a very special part of my life and I absolutely love it. What I have come to find, is that most people have either never heard of open adoption or have a misguided idea of what it actually is. I love having the opportunity to bring clarity to what open adoption is … to be a living example of how beautiful it can be when two families become one … two paths cross and converge for one reason – the love for a child.

The Beauty of Open Adoption
Open adoption is a relatively “new” idea, having been around only 40 years. It can vary in degrees of openness depending on what has been agreed upon between the birth mother and adoptive parents. It has recently become more common and accepted in the last 10-20 years and is becoming increasingly attractive due to the positive effects on the child, birth mom, and adoptive parents. Open adoption eliminates the feeling of abandonment an adopted child can feel when they never hear their birth mom’s side of the story. Silence can grow monstrous scenarios in our minds and produce misguided hurts that stem from our imagination of what might have happened. I cannot speak for every woman, but I believe that most birth mothers do not choose adoption because they don’t want their baby. I have been going to a birth mother support group and I have never met or heard of one who felt that way. In fact, it is quite the opposite. You desperately want your baby, but you also desperately want your baby to have the best life you can possibly give them. Sometimes, that life is with someone else. This is why I chose adoption for my son. I wanted more for him than I was able to give, so I gave him what I could; a beautiful family and a BEAUTIFUL LIFE! Open adoption is so good for the birth mom as well. It is so sweet to not only know, but to PICK, the family who will raise your child, to have a relationship with your child and watch them grow as the years go by and know what’s going on in their life. When I miss my son, I think about how happy he is, how loved he is, how alive he is! All life is precious and adoption is a very special way of honoring God’s gift of life. My son never will have to wonder if he is loved. It was also comforting to know that any couple who is ready to adopt has gone through strenuous, invasive and grueling paperwork, home studies, and many other processes. These couples REALLY want a child. They would not go through that process if they weren’t totally committed to adoption. They are seriously devoted to it, having proven themselves to be deemed fit before any birth mother ever reviews their file. It’s a comforting thought to keep that in mind.

Where To Begin
If you are struggling with a decision of what to do because you don’t feel prepared to give your child the life you would want to, I would strongly advise you to consider adoption. There are several wonderful agencies in the metro area. The process involves meeting with a social worker and eventually browsing through several different couple’s profiles. When you find a couple that matches your values and fit the family you would want your child to grow up in from these in-depth profiles, you meet with them. You can meet with as many couples you want. You choose who you feel is right. You will know in your heart. Just know, from a woman who walked that path 7 years ago, there is hope and there is healing. Not once have I EVER regretted my decision. There is a life growing inside of you, and you need to take care of this little one, protect them and choose whatever is best for them, because they can’t do that for themselves. That is what mothers are for.

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If you, or someone you know, is facing an unplanned pregnancy, we want you to know that you are not alone as you make choices for both you and your baby. The idea of adoption can be overwhelming. We are here to help.

While Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) does not handle adoptions personally, we do partner with a number of licensed, fully trusted adoption agencies in our area. We can help you walk through the entire process with one of these recommended agencies so that you are not alone.

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To read an additional adoption story:
Jenny’s story.

The following post was written by *Abby, an intern at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center). She is sharing her experience and knowledge so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation.

The stories that are shared here come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had as they dealt with unplanned pregnancy.  *All names have been changed.

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I began interning at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) in the summer of 2014. As a junior from Pittsburg State University pursuing degrees in exercise physiology and psychology, a crisis pregnancy center seemed like a perfect way to get my internship hours while still being able to learn about psych and physio both. I came back to the center for the summer of 2015 as a senior and completed my training to be a fully certified client advocate in addition to serving as the intern.

Coming from a college environment, I’d certainly heard a lot of everyone’s views on abortion, adoption, and unplanned pregnancy. However it was something that never really affected me, so I didn’t have a definite opinion one way or the other. I came into the internship simply ready to learn what I could about the pregnant woman from a health care perspective and about counseling.

Nothing could have prepared me for the experience I was about to have.

My training days were filled with information on fetal development, health care options, dealing with clients in a loving way, and the abortion procedure itself. My mind was blown by the sheer volume of information I was never exposed to about my own body, pregnancy, and various medical complications with pregnancy and abortions.

I wondered how many women were “flying blind” and scared because they, like I, had never learned what was involved in pregnancy and about health care in the different options moving forward.

As friends began to learn where I was interning, they naturally asked delicate questions about the political and religious affiliation of Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). It did not take long for me to meet such questions with eager answers so I could share what I was learning. I found myself passionate about the topic of abortion and the rights of women to know what was truly happening to their bodies. The knowledge that my friends could be going into a procedure after being coerced by friends or family, deceived by the media, and blind to simple facts about the procedures and their body as well as the horrifying physical and mental complications was outrageous. The knowledge that women often were alone and scared in conditions that would never meet standard medical health and safety regulations broke my heart.

And after much reading, listening, and searching, I came to the conclusion that abortion is the most violating experience a woman can have.

Day after day I watched women in countless situations come through the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) doors and into the arms of a loving team of staff and volunteers. I saw lives transformed from the relentless love of these women at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), fueled by a mission and by fiercely loving hearts. I learned so much about caring for people and was even empowered in my own life. No matter which volunteer spoke with a client, I was at peace that that woman would be taken care of and that she was in a truly safe place.

Additional Stories by Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) Staff:
Emily’s Story – Why I Help Others
Mark’s Story – Men Helping Men

Many times, it can be hard to keep going. Even for us, knowing that what we do truly provides help to those who are in a crisis pregnancy, it can be difficult sometimes. So often we run into road blocks, barriers and problems. People often oppose us. It can sometimes feel overwhelming for us.

But then, just when we need it, an encouragement comes our way. It can take many different forms . . . but is always the right words at just the right time for us. And because you are interested in what we do (even just by taking the time to read this post), we wanted to share that encouragement with you. The following was given to us by someone who found our services to be valuable. They were the words we needed to keep on keeping on.

I want to thank God for letting us attend the classes at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). Each class provides a wonderful opportunity for us to grow in both our personal lives and parenting skills.  There is so much valuable information that we are gaining from these classes that help us truly be better parents.

We are learning that at times, we need to further educate ourselves and make changes in our habits or our way of thinking. Neither of us feel that we had the right kind of parenting modeled in our own homes as we were growing up. Prior to these classes, parenting for us was based more on feeling than on actual knowledge of correct parenting skills.

Due to our attendance the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) classes, our baby is blessed to get exactly what she needs. These things are not limited to just parenting skills for us, but also material needs for our daughter (diapers, clothes, toys, food, furniture, etc). By attending classes, we receive points that can be exchanged for items that we need. It is a rewarding way to receive assistance.

 Since we began our time with Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we feel more confident as parents because of the education we now have. From what to expect during the pregnancy, to step by step encouragement and knowledge as we began parenting, we have developed close friendships with the wonderful people who provide the help and support we need.

It is through stories like this that we find the encouragement we need to keep going. Despite the opposition we sometimes feel, we know that helping these precious ladies and their families is the most rewarding and fulfilling calling we could answer.

If you are interested in learning how you can be involved in changing lives for the better through Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), please visit our partner page here.

To read more stories of the women we have helped, visit our blog:
Bethany’s Story
Brian’s Story
Megan’s Story

 

 

Emily is a volunteer at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center). She is sharing her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation.

The stories that are shared here come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

All names on our blog have been changed, but their stories are true.

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My name is Emily.
This is my story of why I help others.

As a young married woman, my husband and I were excited at the prospect of having a family of our own. We both came from families with five children each and liked the dynamics of a group of siblings sharing experiences, growing through life together.

Infertility & discouragement
After nearly a year of hoping to get pregnant, we began to get discouraged and wondered why we could not be blessed with a child. We were young and felt that we had plenty of time, but were still disappointed month after month when I would not be pregnant. After some time, we embarked on the journey of doctor visits to find out if there might be a medical reason for our infertility. Our doctors at the time explained that it was common practice to begin with the easiest/least expensive tests and advance through a regimen as possible problems were eliminated. As is usual in these cases, the tests for the men are fairly simple and rule out many situations quickly. The focus seemed to shift to me as we moved through the tests. Since women are blessed with all the marvelous anatomical parts to actually sustain a pregnancy, I found myself seeing specialists and being poked and prodded in ways as never before. Also during this time, I seemed to hear of more and more young girls who were pregnant, unmarried, and trying to “decide what to do about it.” I remembered several girls who had been pregnant during our high school years and had had babies during that time. It seemed there were so many “accidental” pregnancies that came so easily for some, yet my situation was so discouraging for my husband and me as we looked toward our future.

Success . . . then the treatments return
With persistence, many hours of testing, and months of doctor visits, pregnancy finally did happen for us! We were ecstatic and blessed with a beautiful baby boy, healthy and perfect in our eyes. As we looked to add to our family in the next couple of years, we again faced fertility problems. After a move and time that had passed, we started over with the infertility testing in our journey to have another child. We again went through tests and procedures to give us another chance for a biological child. We considered adoption. We really didn’t want to jump into the ethical issues of IVF; choosing to terminate one embryo or fetus for the benefit of another was not in our realm of possibilities. And again, my mind went to those many “accidental” pregnancies that I knew of that seemed to come so easily for some, yet it didn’t happen for me. I sadly also knew that some of these “accidents” had been aborted. This is heartbreaking for most people to hear, but for couples who want a baby so badly, it is truly unthinkable. Maybe I could have adopted one of those children…..

And so, our story went on. After treatment for endometriosis, drug therapy to throw me into menopause at the age of 30 (to not let my body feed the endometriosis) and knowing ovarian cysts were present, I was able to try again to become pregnant a few months after my body returned to its normal “age.” As we see it, another miracle joined our family about a year later. Our second son was born almost six years after his brother. No, we didn’t plan on this timing, but God did!!! We know God’s timing is perfect and both of these babies are now young men. We see them as such blessings in our lives and in the lives of the many people they have touched. The struggles were tough, but God saw us through and answered our prayers, but of course, when HE was ready!

Why I volunteer – and how Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) can help
Because of my experience with infertility, I knew I would always want to encourage women to make a life choice for their baby, no matter how the pregnancy came about. Some of these ladies may not be ready to parent a child, but what a gift they could give others through adoption. Many of the clients I have worked with only need to know there is a place they can come to get love and support, a place where they have time to learn and make a decision that they can truly live with for the rest of their life. I had supported Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) through donations for many years before I became a volunteer. I now am humbled and privileged to work with clients who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy. I consider it my important job to give them truthful information, making it possible for them to make one of the most important decisions they may ever face. Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) is pro-woman. We want women to get the care they need when pregnant and to be assisted in every way possible. I seem to always learn something from the clients and I truly want them to feel safe and respected by all of us at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid).

Additional Stories by Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) Staff:
Abby’s Story – Unexpected Pregnancy & the Information You Need
Mark’s Story – Men Helping Men

Brian is  willingly giving us permission to share his story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

His name has been changed but his story is true.

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My name is Brian.
This is my story of finding help when I needed it most.

Three summers ago, my wife and I learned that we would were expecting an addition into our lives by way of a baby boy. At that time, we were going through much transition in our lives. My wife was between jobs and had no insurance. As excited as we were, we had many concerns. I can’t explain how we came to Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), other than that God had opened a door for us. He obviously had a plan for us, and wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of us bringing this wonderful little life into the world.

Needs are Met
When times are tough, it’s hard to see clearly the path that God has in store.  All we can do is trust in God to provide. And He certainly provided! With the help of many people at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we were able to withstand the hardships that we were facing. They provided us with some early care in my wife’s pregnancy, along with pre-parenting classes on a weekly basis before our son was born. This gave us a great avenue to dialogue together on our parenting strategies. We were also able to obtain many supplies that would help us greatly in raising a baby. Simple yet valuable items, such as a stroller, a play pen, a car seat, clothing, blankets, and years worth of diapers, were given to us. The generosity of Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) really did help us while we were faced with the challenges of a pregnant mother looking for a job.

Continuing Care
After our son was born, my wife had the opportunity to start attending the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) Bridges* program (see definition of Bridges below).  Her decision to start going to this group came with some hesitation. However, I believe that God wanted her to continue to experience the love and support of this place. Through the two years of Bridges, I have seen great growth in a wonderful mother. I’ve been so proud of her for keeping an open mind to new ideas. I feel like she has gained so much by going here.  She would often come home with great ideas on how to save money, or how to implement some new parenting idea, and even some ideas on how to become a better cook. I also know that she has met some great friends here for herself as well as our son. She has also met some wonderful role models.

Benefit of Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid)
I feel like my wife has grown so much from the time we began our journey three years ago. From someone really in need, my wife has grown to the point of being someone very independent. She has become a very giving person, in large part due to the generosity she has experienced at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). She is often the one in our family encouraging us to volunteer at other places, or to give of the means that we do have to others. I appreciate that in her so much. I am very proud of my wife and continue to look forward to watching her grow as a strong, independent, caring, and giving person.

*Bridges Program
Bridges is Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid)’s parenting support group. The goal of the program is to equip and support new parents who face either an unplanned pregnancy or a planned pregnancy but need additional assistance  by providing a safe, loving, compassionate environment where they can grow and flourish. We do this by offering a two year program that includes large group education, small group connecting, and creating community through meals and special events.

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Additional client stories of getting the help they so desperately needed:
Megan’s Story
Bethany’s Story

Janae is willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

Her name has been changed but her story is true.

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Too Young To Be Pregnant!
I had been sexually active for two years, so by the time I was 16, I had convinced myself I could not get pregnant. Imagine my surprise when I missed a period.

Besides a missed period, I had some of the other symptoms as well. A friend directed me to a local “free clinic” where I was given a pregnancy test. Back in 1973 the clinic tests were not very reliable. The test was “inconclusive” and I was told to come back in a week. This happened two more times, so my boyfriend made an appointment with his doctor. The blood test they gave me was positive. I was already certain that I was pregnant, so this simply confirmed it for me.

I was actually happy to know that I was normal. However, this pregnancy was a really big problem. The clinic gave me a phone number to call to make an appointment to have an abortion. There was no other counseling. There were no crisis pregnancy centers (like Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid)) for me to receive any kind of counseling.

My boyfriend offered to marry me, but was supportive if I chose to have an abortion. We discussed adoption, but I was not going to carry a baby for nine months only to give it away. That seemed inconceivable to me at the time. Later on, I would come to realize what a courageous choice making an adoption plan is. But at that point in my life, it felt like I would be abandoning my baby. I made the appointment for the abortion, but because the abortion clinic was busy, I had to wait two or three weeks. By that time, I would be nearing my second trimester.

I was young and naive. I thought I could keep this from my parents. I also thought I would need a fake ID to get the abortion, so all my attention was turned to getting that fake ID to present at the clinic. As it turned out, they never asked for ID. They only asked for the cash.

No Longer A Secret
Prior to all of this happening, my dentist had recommended that I have my wisdom teeth removed. On the way to the oral surgeon, my mom suddenly asked me if I was pregnant! I vehemently denied it. She dropped the subject as we arrived at the office. Up to that point, I had some nausea but no vomiting. My appetite was just not quite normal. The anesthesia they gave me during oral surgery made me quite sick. Back at home, trying to recover between bouts of vomiting, my mother again started grilling me about being pregnant. Weak and sick, I finally acknowledged it was true and asked her how she knew. She said that she could see all the signs. She didn’t take it well at all. She could not resist calling me all kinds of names and telling me how ashamed she was of me. She asked me what I planned on doing about it. I told her I wanted to have an abortion. A week later, after consulting with her sister (who, it turns out, had an illegal abortion) she said she would help me. She never told my dad. She was convinced he would force us to get married and she didn’t want that for me. I really believe she thought she was doing what was best for me.

A Horrible Experience
The day arrived. (I now have two other children and, interestingly, I can remember more about my abortion than I can remember about the births of my two girls.) It was mid-August and the heat was oppressive. That summer had been one of those kinds with numerous days above 100 degrees, and that day was no different. There was no air conditioning in the clinic and the building looked scary and forbidding. Inside, it was no better. There were probably fifteen other girls waiting. We were all put together in a room and “counseled.” This counseling consisted of showing us the machine, telling us it would be noisy, the pain would be minimal and it was just tissue they were removing. What a lie! The pain was indescribable. The so called “doctor” never said a word. He was covered from head to toe in scrubs and I could not even see his eyes because the light reflected off his goggles. The abortion seemed to take forever. Afterwards, I was taken to a darkened room to recover. Hours passed and I wondered if anyone was going to come get me. My mother had to ask about me, and was told it had been complicated. I was either pregnant with twins or  farther along then they first thought. There were no sonograms and I don’t remember being given a pregnancy test to confirm that I was even pregnant.

That night was the worst night of my life. Cramping like I never experienced before started in after I went to bed. I cried for what seemed like most of the night. I didn’t call out for my mother. She had no sympathy for me. By dawn they had subsided.

That morning, I just sat down in a chair and cried. My mother walked by and asked me why I was crying. I looked up at her and I said “I killed my child.” She said “That was my grandchild.” We never spoke about it again. As far as I know, she never told my father. I stuffed the pain and the knowledge that it was my child I had killed so far down inside that I became a very staunch pro-abortion supporter.

Long-Lasting Effects
But you can only keep something like this stuffed down inside for so long. It never goes away. Many years later a depression came over me and I kept thinking I didn’t deserve to live because I had killed my own child. I didn’t even understand that the depression was connected to the abortion, even though I was having these thoughts. I believed it was stress. Eventually I got help and the depression lifted and the negative thoughts went away for a while.

In the meantime, I started attending a church with my husband but I didn’t immediately switch from my pro-abortion views. One day, I saw a woman on TV who had written a book about her abortions and was now working to educate other women on how damaging abortion is to women. It was then that it hit me what I had done. I just sat on the floor crying and asking God for forgiveness. I called the organization this woman was with and asked if I could help them. They asked me if I had been through a healing program. When I said no, they directed me to Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center).

Finding Forgiveness and Freedom
It was through the program they offered titled  “Forgiven and Set Free” that I began to  learn to forgive myself. I became a volunteer and eventually started coordinating the studies for them. For six years I  have had the pleasure of seeing other women come to a place where they could be at peace with themselves and their past choices.

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If you are interested in reading other stories like this, visit:
Ann’s Story
Nicole’s Story