What do you
do if you find that you’re pregnant and you don’t think you’re ready to have a
baby? Maybe your first instinct is to
rush to an abortion clinic or provider and “fix the problem.” While the instinct to hurry up and fix things
is understandable, here are a few things to keep in mind, from a medical
perspective. For the same reason that
you wouldn’t rush into any surgery or medical procedure without having all the
information you need, you shouldn’t rush into abortion either.
Most women
find out that they are pregnant right after their first missed period, which is
early in the pregnancy. At this point,
there is time to have a cautious approach and get as much information as you
can. As many as 25% of early pregnancies
end in miscarriage during the first trimester (up to the end of week 12). With that in mind, it’s important to find out
some important things besides just having a positive pregnancy test. Here are some questions that need to be
answered first:
Is my pregnancy where it is supposed to be? A pregnancy outside of the uterus is called an ectopic pregnancy, and though the risk is small (1 or 2% of all pregnancies), it does happen, and when it does, it can be life-threatening. Only an ultrasound can tell you if your pregnancy is where it’s supposed to be. If your pregnancy isn’t seen inside the uterus, you need an immediate referral for further medical evaluation.
Is my pregnancy healthy, or viable? In other words, does my baby have a heartbeat and can it be measured? If the answer to that question is no, and a medical professional can’t find a heartbeat on ultrasound, you may be having a miscarriage. Until the heartbeat can be measured, the viability of the pregnancy can’t be confirmed.
How far along is my pregnancy? You may think you know how many weeks you are, but until your baby is measured, you don’t know for sure. What you thought was your last menstrual period may have been implantation bleeding (where the baby implants in the lining of the uterus), or you may have had irregular bleeding early in pregnancy. Irregular menstrual periods also cause confusion about how far along you may be. All these things can create confusion about how far along your pregnancy is. Until the gestational sac (where the baby grows) and the baby can be measured, you really don’t know for sure how far along you are.
As you are considering what to do, imagine yourself scheduling a surgery with no one telling you all of the risks, or why you need it, nor having all the information about your situation. You wouldn’t think of doing that, so you should take the same approach when you’re considering what to do about an unplanned pregnancy.
Here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we would be happy to help you navigate this time in your life with compassion, support, and as much information as we can provide.
The information is free, but the peace of mind is priceless!
No woman wants to be in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy!
And most women do not want to abort an unborn baby. But if the situation arises, then the main focus is to remove the problem. Abortion often seems the most obvious – and the easiest – answer to that problem. However, on closer inspection it may not be that simple. In this two-part blog, we will look closely at the physical and emotional effects of abortion so you can understand it more fully.
Effects of Abortion: The Emotional Aspects
In a past blog article, the physical effects of abortion were discussed. Any person seeking an abortion was urged to be an informed consumer and to be knowledgeable of all the physical risks of abortion. All too often, the emotional effects of abortion are under-reported and down-played.
Emotional reactions following abortion are more common than physical side effects.
It is commonly reported that the abortion affected them more than they ever anticipated.
Abortion can effect each person differently. Some are traumatized and feel violated during the abortion. Others report feeling little during the abortion and in later years. Because every person is different, one person’s reaction to an abortion will be different from another’s reaction. Some who have experienced negative emotions find that those emotions go away with time. Others find them more difficult to overcome as time advances.
For more information on the emotional effects and the facts stated in the following paragraphs, see the links at the end of this article. In the immediate period after the abortion, a sense of relief is often reported (as documented in the book “Her Choice to Heal”). However, studies indicate that the effects can be more profound than simple relief. Compared with women who delivered a child, those who aborted had a significantly higher risk of death from all causes and, most notably, more often from suicide. Higher death rates of women who have had an abortion persist over time and across socioeconomic boundaries. Some of this may be explained by self-destructive tendencies, depression, and other unhealthy behavior brought on by the abortion experience (as reported here). Those who have conditions (like depression or other emotional disorders) before the abortion and those who have difficult circumstances surrounding the abortion (for example, being bullied into an abortion) increase the risk for major emotional problems after abortion (reported here).
The feelings that can occur after an abortion have become so identifiable that this condition has been named Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS). Moreover, PAS is being recognized as a form of post-traumatic stress reactions (PTSD). PTSD often occurs after an individual has suffered an event so stressful and so traumatic that this person is unable to cope with this experience in a normal manner. Following a traumatic event, victims of PTSD are unable to simply resume their lives where they had left off. Instead, they experience a variety of reactions that do not go away merely with the passage of time.
Below is a list of typical reactions that may be experienced in the months or years following an abortion, including but are not limited to:
> Denial > Feeling numb (To avoid painful thoughts after abortion, many post-abortive individuals work to shut off their emotions. This may take the form of abandoning friendships and family, particularly if these individuals were part of their abortion experience.) > Guilt (Abortion can short-circuit the basic human instinct to protect one’s child, leading to feelings of guilt. Additionally, there is survival guilt; the sorrowful resignation that “It’s me or you, and I choose me.”) > Shame and secrecy > Acute feeling of grief and loss > Sadness and depression > Unexplained anger or rage > Preoccupation with babies or getting pregnant again > Avoiding children or pregnant women > Unable to bond with present or future children > Fear that future children will die > Nightmares > Sexual dysfunction > Loss of relationships > Emotional coldness, isolation > Inability to forgive > Increased alcohol and drug abuse > Eating disorders > Anxiety or anxiety attacks > Flashbacks of the abortion procedure > Anniversary syndrome (increase in symptoms on the aborted child’s due date, or the date of the abortion) > Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
Rarely does the post-abortive individual suffer every symptom. However, if someone has endured thoughts of suicide or has two or more of these reactions, it could mean that the pain may be due to an abortion experience. If that is the case, an abortion recovery program can help bring peace.
FIND HELP
Do you know someone who is suffering from after-abortion grief? Perhaps you would like to talk to someone about your abortion? There is help and support available for you. We will never judge . . . We will never push. We are simply here for you.
You can even schedule your first appointment without having to talk to anyone – simply click the button below and pick a time that works for you. It’s simple, it’s free . . . it’s the step you need to take to talk to someone who cares and can offer confidential help.
No woman wants to be in a situation of an unplanned pregnancy!
And most women do not want to abort an unborn baby. But if the situation arises, then the main focus is to remove the problem. Abortion often seems the most obvious – and the easiest – answer to that problem. However, on closer inspection it may not be that simple. In this two-part blog, we will look closely at the physical and emotional effects of abortion so you can understand it more fully.
Effects of Abortion: The Physical Aspects
There are two different types of abortion that are generally found in most abortion clinics. The type of abortion is dependent on the stage of pregnancy.
Abortion Pill (RU-486) The abortion pill is given at the abortion clinic and blocks the pregnancy hormones that maintain the embryo (embryo is the early stage of a baby). It can only be used in very early pregnancy. It is recommended by the drug manufacturers that the patient make 3 visits to the clinic after taking the drug. However, most abortion clinics combine visits and often, the woman has returned home when the cramping and bleeding begin with no medical supervision. Being alone (or at the least, without medical help), can put the woman in a frightening situation, leaving her with no one to ask if the amount of bleeding is normal or not. One in 100 women require surgery to stop the bleeding after taking the abortion pill. As many as 8 out of 100 times, RU-486 does not end the pregnancy, leading the woman to require an additional procedure to end it.
Abortion Procedures To understand the physical effects of abortion, we need to share a simple description of the procedure. Depending on the stage of pregnancy, different procedures are used. All procedures involve opening the cervix. The cervix is meant to be tight and closed except when it opens naturally during the process of giving birth. The cervix is located at the at the back of the vagina and is the opening to the uterus. The fetus or baby lives in the uterus. Abortion procedures include suctioning and scraping of the uterine walls, insertion into cervix and uterus by forceps, and using a sharp instrument inside of the uterus. Forceps are a surgical instrument that resemble a pair of tongs and are used for grabbing, maneuvering, and removing the fetus. As many as three visits to the abortion clinic may be required.
You should know the risks! Approximately 1 in 100 women having an early abortion will have complications. For abortions performed in later pregnancy, 1 in 50 women will have complications. Complications include:
* Excessive bleeding Heavy bleeding is the most common problem after an abortion. Uterine cramping is normal after any kind of abortion. The main way that the uterus controls bleeding is to contract, squeezing the blood vessels shut. Excessive bleeding is usually caused by pieces of the baby or placenta that are left in the uterus. The uterus cannot squeeze itself shut and keeps bleeding. This is called an incomplete abortion. If the pieces are removed, often the bleeding will stop. Sometimes the bleeding is caused by a torn cervix, which must be stitched for the bleeding to stop. Additional causes can include a major blood vessel having been nicked during the procedure, or the uterus failing to contract after the procedure.
* Abdominal pain and cramping after the procedure This can also occur during the procedure, as most abortion centers only use local anesthetic and the woman is awake throughout.
* Infection of the uterus or blood Infection can arise from vaginal-anal bacteria moving through the open cervix into the uterus, as well as bacteria moving into the blood stream. Infection can also occur from incompletely sterilized equipment. Interestingly, abortion clinics are not subject to the same regulatory inspections by public health officials that hospitals and other clinics have. Some states have proposed regular inspections of abortion clinics. Infection can cause inability to have future babies. In severe cases, infection may be life threatening.
* Damage to cervix In order to perform an abortion, the cervix must be stretched open with a great deal of force. Forcing open the cervix can cause damage, especially in younger women. The damage may cause inability to keep the cervix closed tight enough to carry future babies to term. Miscarriages and premature babies may be the result.
* Scarring of the uterus Caused by scraping and use of instruments inside of the uterus, scarring can lead to inability to implant a fertilized egg in future pregnancies (2-5%). Scraping of the uterine walls may cause accidental punctures and lead to hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). In extreme circumstances, it may lead to a potentially fatal condition called peritonitis.
* Ectopic pregnancies (pregnancies not in the uterus, like in the fallopian tube) Studies point out that the risk of an ectopic pregnancy is 30% higher for women who have had one abortion and up to 4 times higher for women with 2 or more abortions. Ectopic pregnancies can cause infertility and can be fatal. (For more information on ectopic pregnancies, read our article here.)
* Unnecessary abortion It has been documented that abortions have been “performed” on women who actually have an ectopic pregnancy or have miscarried. It is very important to have a sonogram before an abortion to ensure that the pregnancy is in the uterus and that the fetus is alive. Fifteen to twenty percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage.
* Rh sensitization This condition can occur during pregnancy if a mother’s blood type is Rh-negative and she is pregnant with a Rh-positive baby. Antibodies are produced during the abortion procedure and can attack the red blood cells of a baby in future pregnancies. She must receive medication to prevent the development of antibodies that would endanger future pregnancies.
A woman seeking an abortion should be an informed consumer. She has the right to be informed of all the risks of abortion and given resources for who to contact and where to go if complications occur.
If you or someone you know is considering abortion, it’s very important that you have all the facts before making the decision. You need a caring friend who will take the time with you to listen to your concerns and walk you through your options. We will never judge . . . We will never push. We are simply here for you.
You can even schedule your first appointment without having to talk to anyone – just click the button below and pick a time that works for you. It’s simple, it’s free . . . it’s the step you need to take to have someone who cares about you helping you with this decision.
The following article was written by a practicing, board certified specialist in family medicine with special interests in women’s health issues, obstetrics, prenatal care and gynecology. She has also been extensively trained in the Abortion Pill Reversal process, having performed it successfully for patients. She describes both how it works and her own experience in caring for the women who come to her seeking this process.
Abortion Pill Reversal? That sounded intriguing. I am a family practice physician who also cares for pregnant moms and delivers babies. I was attending a medical conference in Boston when, during a break between lectures, I visited the Exhibition Hall where vendors were advertising and selling their products. One table with the banner “Abortion Pill Reversal” caught my attention. The table was being attended by Dr. George Delgado and an accompanying nurse. As I lingered a few moments, curious about what this hook would be convincing me to purchase, the nurse quickly reassured me it wasn’t a marketing ploy. Dr. Delgado has pioneered a medical treatment protocol specifically designed for women who have taken the abortion pill (mifepristone, or RU-486) for a medical abortion, but then regret their decision before taking the 2nd medication, misoprostol. The nurse wanted to know if I would be interested in being part of the network of providers who are able to offer the protocol.
How the Abortion Pill Works
Typically, medical abortions are offered to women during the first 10 weeks of pregnancy who are wanting to terminate their pregnancies. This gives women the option of not having to undergo a surgical procedure for their abortion and to experience the pregnancy loss at home, rather than in a clinic. A mifepristone pill is given. The mifepristone works by blocking progesterone receptors. Progesterone is a crucial hormone of pregnancy that allows the baby to grow and receive nutrition, so, after the mifepristone, the baby typically dies without the necessary nutrition and hormonal support. The woman is then sent home with another pill, misoprostol, and is instructed to take the second pill by mouth (or sometimes as a vaginal suppository) 1 1/2 to 3 days later. The misoprostol typically induces uterine contractions, so the woman’s body will expel the dead baby.
How the Abortion Pill Reversal Works
The abortion pill reversal protocol uses progesterone (a bioidentical hormone that is naturally present in a woman’s body) to flood the uterus with progesterone with the idea, if there is enough progesterone, it will counteract the effects of the progesterone receptor blockade. Its success rate is reported at 64-68%. Progesterone is completely safe and is associated with no known birth defects.
Since I already use progesterone support extensively in my practice to help decrease my patients’ risk of miscarriage and preterm labor, the concept was not completely foreign to me. I was already familiar with providing progesterone support to pregnant patients, so it was not a great leap for me to sign the page on the clipboard at that medical conference. I provided my contact information and wondered if I would ever be called to help.
The Women Who Came to Me for Abortion Pill Reversal
I didn’t have to wonder long. Since then, I have been called by the Abortion Pill Reversal Hotline team numerous times and have been immersed into the lives of many women in need of compassion and care. This is the way it works: if a woman regrets taking the mifepristone and finds the abortion pill reversal hotline number during an online search, she calls the number and the team reaches out to a provider in the network who is in her geographical area. If the provider is available and willing, the team connects the woman with the provider, so the reversal protocol can be started. I have to admit, with my first call, I was a bit unprepared for the emotional ramifications of connecting with a woman who has just aborted her baby and who is now wanting to consider other options. While their stories are all different, they have a common theme. Each woman whose contact information I receive is experiencing a crisis. The news of her positive pregnancy test has not been met with joy. Sometime, she is not married. Sometimes, she simply has no where to turn. She made the best decision she could. She couldn’t possibly have a baby, at least not now. She went to an abortion provider or purchased the pills online. With one final thought, she swallowed the pill. . . . trying to feel good about the decision, about what she had just done. She realizes relief or satisfaction are not the emotions that are flooding through her brain. Maybe what is nagging her is her moral upbringing that told her an unborn baby is a precious life that should not be destroyed. Maybe it is the disdain she sees in her boyfriends eyes when she gets caught in his glare. Maybe it is the disappointment that she won’t be able to tell her mother that she is about to be a grandmother. Maybe it is the freedom of being away from her boyfriend who would not leave the abortion clinic until she had taken the pill. Maybe it was the beating heart she saw on the ultrasound screen.These are just a few of the reasons my patients have given for wanting to reverse their abortions.
Although the reversal, which requires a protocol of progesterone support, given either as capsules by mouth or as injections in the hip muscles, isn’t always successful, I am blessed to be in a position to care for these women. Although their circumstances vary, each woman with whom I am placed in contact has two things in common: first, she is experiencing despair and, second, she has been deeply wounded. Although it is emotionally challenging to walk alongside these women, I am blessed to be in a position to offer them both hope and healing. It is such a joy to share the ultrasound images of a healthy, growing baby inside the woman’s womb while she is undergoing the reversal protocol. It is an even greater joy to receive birth announcements and newborn photos from her. The ultimate joy is the knowledge she doesn’t have to endure the shame that all too often occurs of being partly responsible for the death of her baby.
The Utter Heartbreak of Not Being Successful
But, when the protocol isn’t successful, I am still able to walk alongside each woman, listening to her describe her fear and anxiety when she starts to cramp or bleed, crying with her after she sees her dead baby on the ultrasound screen, staying with her through her labor when she knows the end result will be the delivery of a dead baby, feeling her pain when the first words she speaks to the dead baby she now holds in her arms are “I’m so sorry I did this to you,” hugging her when she feels unloved, speaking to her about unconditional love and mercy. Normally, each abortion results in both a dead baby AND a wounded woman. But in this situation, it doesn’t have to result in both, at least not permanently.
The Real Meaning of Health Care
I used to cringe every time I would see the banner that read “Health Care Happens Here” hanging on the front of the abortion provider building next door. After listening to my patients stories, I know that what is offered there is anything BUT health CARE. When I first saw the “Abortion Pill Reversal” banner that caught my attention at the medical conference, I had no idea I was being led to help provide the most meaningful kind of health care to women in need of hope, healing, care, and compassion.
If you want more information on this important procedure – either to simply talk it through with a knowledgeable health care provider, or because you are finding yourself part-way through a medical abortion that you are now regretting, reach out to us.
Here, there is no pressure, simply loving answers in a compassionate, private environment. And we pledge to stick with you, no matter what your choice!
But remember, time is critical if you are considering a reversal. Make an appointment to come see us.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be an overwhelming and emotional experience. Before you schedule an abortion, it’s crucial to take the time to gather as much information as possible. Asking yourself the right questions can help you make an informed choice that is best for you – both for now and for your future.
You need the answers to three essential questions before scheduling an abortion:
1. Am I Really Pregnant?
2. How Far Along Am I?
3. Could I Have an STI?
Question #1: Am I really pregnant? The first question you should address is whether you are truly pregnant. Many early pregnancy symptoms, such as missed periods, nausea, and breast tenderness, can also be caused by other medical conditions. Home tests are convenient, but can sometimes be hard to read.
To get the most accurate results, it’s advisable to consult a healthcare professional. Here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we have medical-grade pregnancy tests that are evaluated by our medical professionals, which helps take the guesswork out of reading the results.
Accurate knowledge of your pregnancy status is essential before making any decisions regarding abortion.
Question #2: How Far Along Am I? Different options are available – or not – at different stages of your pregnancy. In order to answer this question without a doubt, you need a sonogram to determine if your pregnancy is even viable (meaning that it is progressing in a normal manner) and how far along you are.
Sometimes, pregnancies can be ectopic (occurring outside the uterus) or a miscarriage may have already occurred, but your pregnancy test is still registering the hormones and showing as positive.
Knowing your gestational age allows you to make an informed choice about the next steps you should be considering. At Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), all of our sonograms are performed by registered and highly-trained professionals and are always offered at absolutely no cost to you.
Question #3: Could I Have an STI? Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are common, and it’s essential to consider the possibility of having an STI when you’re pregnant, especially if you are contemplating an abortion. Undiagnosed and untreated STIs can have serious health implications.
Before considering what your next step should be, it’s crucial to get tested for STIs first. At a time when you may be feeling like things are out of your control, it’s important for you to take back control of this important area of your health. If you test positive, you need to be treated immediately.
Our trained medical professionals can provide both testing and treatment for specific types of STI, completely free of charge to you.
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Considering an abortion is not something that should be rushed into. You may feel like you don’t have time to look into your options, but you actually do. You need someone who is knowledgeable (both in the medical field and in the different options available to you) and who can offer some real help.
We are pro-YOU! We are here to empower you, calm the storm, and give you the answers to the questions you need to be asking before you consider scheduling an abortion.
As a client advocate helping navigate unplanned pregnancies, one of the most common phrases I’ve heard in the counseling room is, “We’re just not ready.” So often, couples want to be more settled and financially stable before thinking about kids. Or they want to be married first, or maybe finish school before starting a family. Or they simply want to be older. Sometimes, it’s because the relationship might even be unstable or dysfunctional, and she wants to know if they have a future together. These are all very valid and understandable “wants,” but sadly these couples often have a preconceived idea that these things are an absolute “NEED” before having a child. Maybe for them, the idea comes from society in general, or maybe it comes from specific family expectations or cultural beliefs. In any case, all this pressure leads many to consider abortion.
When I Googled the word READY I found this definition: “in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared.” Well, that certainly adds pressure, doesn’t it? I don’t have answers to many things, but here’s something I know with absolute certainty … if all couples waited to feel truly ready to have children, the human population would have already dwindled and disappeared. This causes me to think back and laugh a bit at the beginning of my own parenthood adventure. My husband and I had known each other for almost 10 years and had been married about 1 year when we found out we were expecting. We had talked for years about how much we wanted a family, and we were thrilled. We were both working and life was good. But wait. Were we ready? We lived on the south side of Chicago, not the most family-friendly area. (Target was a solid 45 minutes away!) We had zero family in town. Hubby worked crazy hours and I might feel very isolated. None of our siblings or close friends had kids yet. Rent in Chicago was expensive, and we could never buy a house there. Fast forward to the eighth month of pregnancy, the two of us having a total nervous breakdown in the middle of Babies ‘R’ Us over really nothing in particular. Yet somehow, it felt like this breakdown was over everything! Life was about to change in such a big way.
Tums out, we WERE ready. More than ready. Simply because we had so much love for that little girl. Since then, we’ve had many incredible highs and many difficult lows, because this is life. A life that is beautiful and precious through it all. Now my youngest, my “baby,” is a challenging 15-year-old and STILL makes me feel like an unprepared new mom sometimes.
And I’ve realized that’s ok!
So, to you expecting parents; YES, you are in for the ride of your life. But what a joy, what a blessing, what a gift, and what a privilege to have this journey. A journey so many never get to, or never choose to, experience.
It’s ok that the unknown is sometimes scary, and that right now you have confusing thoughts and feelings.
On some level, I bet you know that what’s happening is inherently good, and needs to be protected. Like a young child cherishing a gift she might not fully understand in the moment, at that age and stage, but knows in her heart it is amazing and valuable.
Do you see yourself in this story? Could you use a support – a family – like the one at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) to help you feel a little more “ready?”
No matter your exact situation, there are likely parts of this story that you can relate to. Unplanned? Bad timing? Financial struggles? The list of reasons that a pregnancy isn’t right can go on and on.
But we understand all of that, and can offer some real hope and solutions to these issues. Just stop . . . take a moment to breathe . . . and get the information you need to make the decision that is best for you, both the current-you and the future-you! With the right help on your side, you might just find life’s gifts can be sweet!
