“I am telling my story today with the hope that it will encourage the woman who is pregnant unexpectedly, and maybe even afraid to admit that she is scared. You are not alone, and you are capable of much more than you think.
A Turn of Events
When I was 19 years old, I had a boyfriend. I was going to community college and working to save money to go on to a university. I was very happy.
Then the day came when I knew things were about to change dramatically. A missed cycle or two and I knew I had to get tested. But we didn’t have those handy drugstore pregnancy tests like you have today where you can know in a few minutes. I had to take a sample to the local health department and wait for a few days.
I returned later with my boyfriend. The results were positive. I was pregnant. We looked at each other with fear and through desperate tears we thought: ‘Now what?!’
Shame overwhelmed me. Not of the baby, not even of the future, but of what people would think of me. What would my parents say? I was their daughter—their good daughter. The one in college, staying at home, doing the “right” things. I knew they loved me, but I also knew this news would hurt them. I wasn’t married and I wasn’t ready to be married. I was also afraid of the disappointment and shame I would bring to my family.
My boyfriend and I were both from big Irish Catholic families. This meant that there were certain lines you did not cross. We had crossed a big one. So together, our greatest fear was having to tell our parents.
Sharing the News
It was the week before Christmas when we learned I was pregnant, so we were determined to keep the news a secret until after the holiday. In the meantime, my boyfriend and I talked about getting married because it seemed like the right thing to do. We both knew that deep down, neither of us were ready for marriage, let alone children. However, we entertained the thought that maybe we could figure it out.
The holiday passed, and we chose to deliver the news to his parents first. His mother cried, and his father stated that they were not in support of us getting married.
We went on to tell my parents. My voice shook as I spoke while sitting before them. I braced myself for their response, expecting to receive anger, yelling, and expressions of rejection. But that’s not what happened. Yes, they were shocked. Yes, they were hurt and disappointed, just as I had feared. But underneath all of that, they were still my parents. The ones who had raised me, protected me, and loved me no matter what. They leaned in, not with judgment or readiness to inflict punishment, but with loving kindness and unwavering support.
The Maternity Home
As I considered the future, it was evident that marriage was not an option for me at the time, and I wasn’t able to support and care for a child. However, I wanted my baby to have a family. So, I decided that I would pursue adoption.
While pregnant, my family and I learned that there was a maternity home two hours away called Seaton House. It was a home for unwed mothers that took care of young women in my situation. I thought it sounded like a good idea.
My experience at the maternity home was wonderful. It was a cross between a sorority house and a convent.
The Sisters were of an order called The Daughters of Charity, and they treated us with kindness, respect, and dignity. The other girls in the home and I became family through sharing stories, offering support to one another, and dreaming together of the futures we each hoped to build. We also learned to knit and crochet, and we were able to make a blanket to give to our newborns.
Some mothers were choosing to keep their babies, while others like myself were planning to place their babies for adoption. There was never pressure from the nuns toward us to make any one decision.
Hope for a Future
My personal story of unexpected pregnancy and the love and support I received is why I am now a volunteer at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic. I want other women to know the kind of love and support that I experienced when I was facing uncertainty. No matter what your age, no matter what your circumstances, support is available to help you through even the darkest and scariest of times.
I don’t regret my child or my choice to place for adoption. I never have. Today, I’m 72 years old, and looking back at the challenges I faced at 19 years old and seeing the concerns women face today, I want more young women to know that being scared doesn’t make you weak. Being hopeful is brave. It’s okay to cry and to ask for help.
Throughout my journey, I can look back and see God’s handprints all over my story, from the support of family and friends early on to His providing me with the courage to place my beautiful son for adoption. Then later on, to bless me with a wonderful husband and four beautiful daughters. I also had the blessing of not worrying about or longing for my son, because I trusted God that he was in good hands.
The most profound blessing of all came last Christmas, when a 52-year-old man called and said he thought he might be my son. Yes, it was him! All the pieces had finally come together. He is happy, healthy, and prosperous. He has a beautiful family and a great career. My joy is complete.
His parents are still living. I would love to meet them and thank them for giving my boy the wonderful life that I could not.”
If you’re reading this and wondering if abortion is your only choice, we want to encourage you to pause. Take a breath. There is time and space to think about your future and your baby’s. There are people who will walk alongside you without judgment, offering real support and practical help.Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic is a medical facility for women and families facing an unexpected pregnancy. In addition to providing free pregnancy tests, ultrasounds and STI testing and treatment, care managers walk alongside clients and connect them with resources specific to their needs, including adoption agencies. Contact us today to schedule a free appointment. You are not alone—we’re with you.