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Facing the Unplanned . . . Finding So Much Help

The writer of this story has willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.


Not the Right Time . . . What Will My Parents Think?

I took three pregnancy tests before going to Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center).

I was so scared because I didn’t know what would happen if I were to be pregnant. I was living in Saint Louis, while my boyfriend was still here in Kansas City. I was only supposed to be home for the summer. Even if long distance wasn’t an issue, there were still many other issues. We are both young. We can’t afford a child. We are both in college pursuing degrees. The worst of all was one question: What are my parents going to say? My parents are extremely strict and I was so nervous about how they would react if I were to be pregnant. I put all my worries aside and tried to take things one step at a time.

Taking it in Steps: First Step, Confirmation

Our first step would be to confirm the pregnancy. My boyfriend and I went to the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) office in Overland Park to get a pregnancy test, where we met our Client Advocate, Tiffany. She was there with us while we started our crazy journey. She broke the news to us that I was indeed pregnant. She was there for us while we cried together, overwhelmed with emotions. This was my first experience with the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) community.

Second Step: Help with a Plan

The next step for me was to make a plan of how I could still get my degree and raise a child. I was able to transfer schools so that I could stay in Kansas City. Eventually I was able to find a place to live with my boyfriend. We continued to go to meetings within the program.

We were able to get many things to prepare us for having a baby, thanks to the amazing donors.

We received a pack ‘n play, which we use all the time. We are also so grateful to receive many diapers and wipes each month. In addition to everything, we also were able to pick many clothing items for our new baby to wear.

Now a Family of 3: Blessed & Grateful

Our baby girl was born in early January and we were so blessed to have everything we needed for her. She has already grown so much and I have been able to return to the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) Connections education program.

Not only did Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) provide the material things we needed to prepare for her, but it also gave us a good support system with people to talk to. I don’t know what we would have done if I hadn’t booked that appointment and met Tiffany last year!


Does her story strike a chord in you?

You see, just because you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t mean that you don’t have choices. You do! And, like the young woman in the story above, you can choose to be strong, make it through, and experience a something beautifully unexpected.

And the real beauty is that you don’t have to do this alone!

Start with the easy step of scheduling an appointment. Come talk to us. No pressure, no judgment, no agenda. Here, you’ll simply find honesty, acceptance and a friend.

My Name Is Jenny. This Is My Story Of Adoption.

Jenny is  willingly giving us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

Her name has been changed but her story is true.


Considering Adoption
My husband and I had been married five years and had a one-year-old daughter when we began to experience something “unplanned.” It wasn’t a pregnancy, but rather infertility. Over the course of the next few years, we would experience a lot of uncertainty about how—or even if—our family would grow.

It was just after Easter when we received a phone call that would change our lives. A lawyer who knew we had completed an adoption home study (the process anyone who wants to adopt has to undergo) called to say he knew a young woman experiencing unplanned pregnancy. He told her about us and she wanted to meet us. We were excited and nervous and hopeful and terrified all at the same time. He gave me her phone number and said she would like me to call her.

Meeting the Birth Mother
I called Alison the next day. From the moment I heard her voice, I knew I liked her. We spoke for about fifteen minutes that day and she shared about her unplanned pregnancy, the reasons she was leaning toward adoption and her hopes for her baby boy. I shared about our circumstances and why we were considering adoption and how we hoped to have an “open adoption”—meaning an adoption in which a relationship with the biological family is maintained and encouraged throughout the child’s life. Alison really wanted an open adoption too, which was one of the reasons why she thought we might be good candidates to raise her son.

We met face to face about a week later and our connection was easy and natural. Alison was about six months pregnant at that time and had been attending classes and receiving counseling at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) for many months. She had been exploring all her options and had a great system of support through Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid).

It was evident to us how much she loved this baby boy. She was making all of her decisions based on his needs and her hopes for him—this was at a great cost to herself. Choosing not to parent her baby was an incredible sacrifice.

Yes, it would allow her to continue her life on the course she wanted, but it was still a gut-wrenching decision and one that she made primarily for her son’s sake.

A Sweet Relationship
Our relationship with Alison progressed and she soon introduced us to the birth father. Over the next couple of months, we all became more committed to one another and to adoption. Alison continued one-on-one sessions with a counselor who had placed a child with an adoptive family sixteen years before, and we also had a couple of sessions with that same counselor on navigating an open adoption. This was so helpful as we were able to process our fears and hopes together.

Resources We Needed – And So Much More
As the time of our son’s birth approached, Alison had earned a lot of “points” to use at the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) new parent and baby store by not missing one class or counseling session at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) her entire pregnancy! She decided to give our family most of her “points” that can be redeemed for new baby items like clothes, changing pads, even car seats. Alison and I went together and picked things out for our son…it was an incredibly special time. After we had shopped, the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) staff pulled us aside so they could give Alison a gift basket just for her. It was filled with all sorts of things that she could pamper herself with—including spa and massage gift certificates! Many of the staff and volunteers at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) had chipped in. Their support and encouragement was incredibly.

Our Son
Soon after that, our son was born. We were present for the delivery and stayed at the hospital the whole time. Alison, the birth father and the baby stayed together in the room next door and we went between our room and theirs and took the night shift the second night. While we were in the hospital together, Alison nursed the baby and for the next six weeks or so, she provided breast milk. It was just what he needed and such a loving gift. Over the next few months, we saw Alison about once a week and saw the birth father and his parents many times. And of course we had to introduce him to all his friends at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), too!

Our son will turn one this summer and our relationship with both Alison and the birth father is really strong. Alison is doing wonderfully and recently started a new job at a great company. The birth father lives out of town now, but we still see him fairly often, and we see Alison at least once a month and exchange texts and emails with both of them in between visits.

We are so delighted that our son has a connection to both sides of his biological family. As an adoptive mom, I love his biological family and will always speak positively about them. Whether an adoption is open or closed, any birth parent who chooses to place their child with an adoptive family is a hero. There are personal pros and cons to choosing not to parent, but ultimately, placing a child for adoption is a selfless act of love. I will always be grateful to his first mom and dad for the gift that they gave us and for the gift that they gave their son. He is growing up knowing that they placed him for adoption out of love and he will have the opportunity to continue to develop his own relationship with both of them as he grows. There will never be a day that he does not know how much they love him or how much we love him—our son is truly surrounded by love on all sides!


 

If you, or someone you know, is facing an unplanned pregnancy, we want you to know that you are not alone as you make choices for both you and your baby. The idea of adoption can be overwhelming. We are here to help.

While Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) does not handle adoptions personally, we do partner with a number of licensed, fully trusted adoption agencies in our area. We can help you walk through the entire process with one of these recommended agencies so that you are not alone.

Start here – no judgment, no pressure at all. Just someone to talk to who has some truly helpful answers. Someone who wants whats best for you!


 

To read an additional adoption story:
Michelle’s Open Adoption Story