Call Helpline: 913.962.0200

Month: December 2023

Not Ready for Pregnancy: Advice from Someone Who Has Been There

Posted on

As a client advocate helping navigate unplanned pregnancies, one of the most common phrases I’ve heard in the counseling room is, “We’re just not ready.” So often, couples want to be more settled and financially stable before thinking about kids. Or they want to be married first, or maybe finish school before starting a family. Or they simply want to be older. Sometimes, it’s because the relationship might even be unstable or dysfunctional, and she wants to know if they have a future together. These are all very valid and understandable “wants,” but sadly these couples often have a preconceived idea that these things are an absolute “NEED” before having a child. Maybe for them, the idea comes from society in general, or maybe it comes from specific family expectations or cultural beliefs. In any case, all this pressure leads many to consider abortion.

When I Googled the word READY I found this definition: “in a suitable state for an activity, action, or situation; fully prepared.” Well, that certainly adds pressure, doesn’t it? I don’t have answers to many things, but here’s something I know with absolute certainty … if all couples waited to feel truly ready to have children, the human population would have already dwindled and disappeared. This causes me to think back and laugh a bit at the beginning of my own parenthood adventure. My husband and I had known each other for almost 10 years and had been married about 1 year when we found out we were expecting. We had talked for years about how much we wanted a family, and we were thrilled. We were both working and life was good. But wait. Were we ready? We lived on the south side of Chicago, not the most family-friendly area. (Target was a solid 45 minutes away!) We had zero family in town. Hubby worked crazy hours and I might feel very isolated. None of our siblings or close friends had kids yet. Rent in Chicago was expensive, and we could never buy a house there. Fast forward to the eighth month of pregnancy, the two of us having a total nervous breakdown in the middle of Babies ‘R’ Us over really nothing in particular. Yet somehow, it felt like this breakdown was over everything! Life was about to change in such a big way.

Tums out, we WERE ready. More than ready. Simply because we had so much love for that little girl. Since then, we’ve had many incredible highs and many difficult lows, because this is life. A life that is beautiful and precious through it all. Now my youngest, my “baby,” is a challenging 15-year-old and STILL makes me feel like an unprepared new mom sometimes.

And I’ve realized that’s ok!

So, to you expecting parents; YES, you are in for the ride of your life. But what a joy, what a blessing, what a gift, and what a privilege to have this journey. A journey so many never get to, or never choose to, experience.

It’s ok that the unknown is sometimes scary, and that right now you have confusing thoughts and feelings.

On some level, I bet you know that what’s happening is inherently good, and needs to be protected. Like a young child cherishing a gift she might not fully understand in the moment, at that age and stage, but knows in her heart it is amazing and valuable.

Do you see yourself in this story? Could you use a support – a family – like the one at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) to help you feel a little more “ready?”

No matter your exact situation, there are likely parts of this story that you can relate to. Unplanned? Bad timing? Financial struggles? The list of reasons that a pregnancy isn’t right can go on and on.

But we understand all of that, and can offer some real hope and solutions to these issues. Just stop . . . take a moment to breathe . . . and get the information you need to make the decision that is best for you, both the current-you and the future-you! With the right help on your side, you might just find life’s gifts can be sweet!

Book An Appointment

Your Options When It’s Just “Not the Right Time”

Posted on

“I can’t have this baby…because it’s not the right time!”

As I meet with women who are facing an unplanned pregnancy, I hear this often.  Some tell me they might want kids in the future, but now is not the right time. 

I start by encouraging her to slow down and think about her options.  She has time to weigh all the information needed to make a decision that will impact her for the rest of her life. 

She may think she can abort this time and try again when the timing is better, but the certainty of future pregnancies is not guaranteed.  Her pregnancy might not have been planned, but maybe her future just looks a little different than she thought.

Many women want to finish their education and that is something I highly encourage.  Education is important and it is certainly possible to finish it with a child.  Think of the strong example that child will have in a mother who persevered to finish her education.  We help women work on scholarships, childcare, and meeting student visa requirements when they are dedicated to finishing their education.  For young women in high school, adoption can be an option that gives them more flexibility to finish their education and also gives their baby life.  These are different decisions, but we work with some really strong women who just need support to accomplish their goals. 

Your life isn’t over – it’s just starting.  It will be much richer and more beautiful than you can imagine, for what seems hard today will give you strength and wisdom for tomorrow.

At Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) our goal is to empower women to make educated choices about their health and well-being.  We provide medical and educational services before, during and after pregnancies for women and their partners. We can provide answers to all the questions they should be asking before having an abortion…all at no cost! We also offer programs for women who have experienced an abortion in the past and are seeking help and healing.

Your first step, no matter where you are in the process, is as easy as clicking a button to schedule an appointment to come in and just talk with one of our client advocates. No pressure, no judgment. Just the answers that you are looking for.

Book An Appointment

When the Pregnancy Test is Positive, Who Can You Talk To?

Posted on

We care. We want to be there. We want to be your friend. And in the Kansas City area, we are that local voice that is close by to help answer your questions.

That’s why at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) we have someone on hand to answer the phones 24 hours a day. Each and every day, we are here, ready to answer your questions and to offer support, hope and options.

What does a connection with our pregnancy hotline look like? Read, in the words of one of our workers, a real-life story of her interaction with a caller.

It was 5:00pm on a Saturday afternoon when I received a hotline call from a woman who saw a billboard on the highway with Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid)’s phone number. She shared that she was pretty sure she was pregnant. She also said she already has other children. She quickly told me how she’s going through a divorce and this baby was not her husband’s child. She continued to share how she had gotten involved in some very bad things that resulted in this pregnancy. She sounded very scared, and admitted that she was considering having an abortion even though she felt it wasn’t the right choice. My heart hurt for her and her struggles. We talked for quite awhile, and I was able to express to her the love and acceptance she was looking for. Before we ended our phone call, I scheduled an appointment for her to come to one of our centers. I later learned that she did come in and met with one of our volunteers. She received a pregnancy test that verified that her suspicion of a pregnancy was indeed right. During that appointment she also received accurate information about all her options.

It is because of calls like this that we make it a priority to have someone available to answer calls and be available online at any time, day or night. We know that your questions and concerns don’t always come during “office hours.” And that’s just fine, because we are always open through our chat box and pregnancy hotline.

Maybe you are unsure of whether or not the test you took is accurate. It might be time for you to think about scheduling an appointment. You don’t  have to talk to anyone right now, simply click the button at the bottom of this article, and you can schedule – online – an appointment that fits into your busy life. At that appointment, you can take a medical-grade pregnancy test, at absolutely no financial charge to you. Then, regardless of the outcome of that test, you can talk over your options with someone in a no-pressure, relaxed atmosphere to decide what is absolutely best for you.

Additional help if you or someone you know is expecting:
Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) has additional programs to help. To learn more, check out these posts:
Our Bridges Program
Our Journeys Program
Our Labor & Delivery Program

Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) can provide medical grade, high sensitivity pregnancy tests, all at no cost to you. There is no judgement, and no  high-pressuring. . . simply help, options and a knowledgeable friend who can help you sort it all out.

If there is the possibility that you might be pregnant, simply schedule an appointment at a time that works for you. It’s private, close – and you’ll begin to get the help that you need.

Book An Appointment

Facing an Unplanned Pregnancy During the Holidays

Posted on

Otherwise known as “Three French Hens, Two Turtle Doves and…an Unplanned Pregnancy?”

An unplanned pregnancy is always a shock.  But receiving a positive pregnancy test that you didn’t expect during the time of year when all is supposed to be “merry and bright” can feel even more challenging. 

If you’re not ready to share your “news” with anyone yet you may be dreading that crowded family get-together or Friendsgiving feast.  Painting on a smile and pretending like everything is fine can be exhausting.  Here are a few things to be encouraged by and consider if you find yourself in this situation.

It’s OK to Not be OK

Finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant comes with a rollercoaster of emotions.  Worry, fear, uncertainty and stress are common, to name a few.  Your body may be in a “fight or flight” type of mode as a way to counteract the stress.  Or perhaps you just feel “numb.”  All of these feelings can be normal, and it’s okay to feel that way.

It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and know that there is no “normal,” as everyone responds to situations differently. Whether it’s a few days or a week, give yourself time to sit in these feelings.  In a way, you may be grieving and grief is a process.

You Don’t Have to Face it Alone

Secrets can be heavy.  They can affect our relationships, our careers, and our everyday lives.  While it may not be the kind of thing you want to post about on social media, consider confiding in a trusted friend or family member.  You might be surprised by the weight that this takes off of you.  Explaining that you aren’t necessarily looking for opinions or even advice, but simply need a listening ear may be helpful.  Often times, verbalizing your thoughts and feelings can help you process them.

Set Boundaries

If you do join any festivities such as work parties or family get-togethers, it may be helpful to prepare mentally and set a few boundaries for yourself.  Know what places, people, and topics you aren’t going to be comfortable around or may be emotionally triggering.  While these activities may be a good distraction, you may find that certain personalities or situations make you feel more uncomfortable than usual.  Simply excuse yourself and get some fresh air or a change of scenery if needed.

Get Answers to Your Questions

Last, but not least, find out some more information.  Questions like “how far along am I?” or “is this baby even going to make it?” may be going through your head.  You may be wondering where to go and where you can find a confidential and supportive place to start.  Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) is here to provide just that and more. 

Our experienced medical staff can help provide you with the medical information you need to move forward being fully educated and informed on your options. Your client advocate is there to provide non-judgemental support.  As we do not exist to profit off of you or your decisions, all of our services are free of charge.

If you are having visions of two lines dancing in your head rather than sugar plums, know that Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) is here for you.

Book An Appointment

I Can’t Have This Baby . . . With HIM!

Posted on

Here at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we have a licensed social worker on staff to meet with women who find themselves in less-than-ideal situations. Her expertise, wisdom, and resources can sometimes make all the difference for a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy. Our social worker provides real hope for women and allows them to know that they aren’t in this storm alone.

Here are some of her thoughts on a very specific – and yet common – issue that women face.

I meet with a lot of women facing an unplanned pregnancy and many say they just can’t have a baby with HIM.  Maybe their relationship just ended, maybe he was only a friend, maybe he was a guy she met in a bar a few weeks ago, maybe he’s abusive and she wants to leave.  Every woman’s story is unique, yet many share the same desire- to not have HIM be the father. 

No matter who the father is, the woman carrying that baby is its mother.  She has the option to protect the baby.  Biologically, she is a mother whether or not she decides to keep her baby.  She may feel powerless in the face of her situation, but she does have the power to make a choice.

As a licensed Social Worker, I meet with women in our Care Management program to identify characteristics of healthy and unhealthy relationships and also work with women in abusive situations.  Many of the women I work with are in domestic violence situations or have left an abusive partner.  I get the privilege of walking with them on their journey to health and wholeness and seeing them empowered to make positive choices for their future. 

This isn’t the end of the road, and no life has to end on the path to success.  Even if “HE” isn’t ideal, your future can be bright- it just might look a little different than expected!

We aren’t here to pressure you. That’s just not something we do.

But we ARE here to empower you. . . to give you real, honest help for when you find yourself in a situation that isn’t what you wanted.

We do believe in you. And we believe that, with the right help, even if HE was in the picture but not anymore, you can do this.

Let’s talk.

Book An Appointment