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Month: November 2023

Unplanned Pregnancy and Your Choice – What You Need to Know

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Choice. It’s the key word in this giant debate that we have. When it comes to an unplanned pregnancy, the choice should be up to the woman.

And we agree with that – that your choice should never be forced upon you. But we also think that each woman should know all of her options – and the good and bad of each of those options – before she makes her choice.

This amazing lady has willingly given us permission to share her story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.

One big decision in six little words
“We’d like to schedule an abortion.” Six words that changed my life forever. These were not words that I said, although it was my child whose life was ended. These were not words from my parents or even the child’s father… 

I was 17 and in love. I had a “pre-engagement” ring and was going on a day trip to meet my boyfriend’s parents and see his new apartment. It was nowhere on my radar that we would be having sex for the first (and only) time that afternoon… but that’s the direction that “seeing his apartment” took. On the way home I felt happy because now I knew that he really did love me! Except he didn’t. I never heard from him again.  

It didn’t cross my mind that I could be pregnant until a couple months went by and I realized that I hadn’t had a period. It couldn’t be. But, if it was, I had to solve this problem without my parent’s help (they would kill me) or the father’s help (he had gotten back together with an old girlfriend and never knew I was pregnant). I told a co-worker about my worry and he said he knew someplace we could go for help. He drove me to the clinic where they gave me a pregnancy test. When they said it was positive, my friend said those awful words – “We’d like to schedule an abortion.”  

That was it. No discussion. Problem would soon be solved.  

Appointment made. Appointment kept. Problem solved. Except it wasn’t.  

In Retrospect – Blessing or Regret?
As I approach yet another anniversary of that day, I know things now that the scared 17-year-old “me” didn’t. 

I know that my parents would not have killed me; whatever their reaction, I could have survived. I know now that my Mom had become pregnant at 19 herself – the baby was adopted, and I have a wonderful half-sister that I met 13 years ago. Blessing #1.

I know that abortion can cause infertility. How do I know? It happened to me. My baby, “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh” was NEVER to happen again. Ever. Regret #1.

I know that my baby could have been the biggest blessing ever experienced in the lives of a married couple who weren’t able to conceive. My baby would have been an answer to prayer. How do I know? It happened to me. After years of infertility my husband and I did foster care and were soon told that a baby girl had been born who needed a “forever family.” We were able to give their baby a chance. Blessing #2.

That beautiful baby girl is now in nursing school and is the sunshine of my life along with her (also adopted) brother. Yes, my baby too could have been some couple’s biggest blessing; he just never had that chance. Regret #2.

If you are facing the scary situation of being pregnant, learn from my experience – give your baby a chance.  Please.

The three choices you have – to parent, to abort or to make an adoption plan – all have consequences; consider them carefully and don’t let anyone else make that decision for you because you will have to live with it forever.

Blessing or regret. It’s your choice.

Here at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center), we will never force you to make a choice you don’t want to make – we will only offer you the facts, love, and support you need. Making a decision this big is scary, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Come find hope, healing, and empowerment here by setting up an appointment – it just might be the biggest blessing you ever experience!

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{Education} The Info You Need On Plan B

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There are a great many questions when it comes to forms of contraceptives. But one thing that needs to be made quite clear is that they are not all the same! Some, such as Plan B, work very differently than other over-the-counter  contraceptives. It is important to understand the differences, and the timing and effectiveness of this drug in order to make wise, informed decisions.

The more you know, the more control you have over what happens with your body!

What is Plan B & how does it work?
Plan B (also known as the Morning After Pill, My Way, Next Choice) is a form of emergency contraception available over the counter at pharmacies with proof of age over 15. Plan B is a drug called levonorgestrel, and is intended to be taken by mouth in either one or two doses. It works by thickening the mucus from the cervix to prevent the sperm from traveling further up the cervix, it inhibits ovulation, and it also changes the endometrium or lining of the uterus.

Plan B’s major limitation
Plan B is intended to be taken as soon as possible after intercourse has occurred; however, it may be taken up to as many as 5 days post-intercourse. It is important to note that Plan B will NOT be effective if implantation has already taken place. If you are already pregnant, Plan B does not work.

Some serious side effects
Plan B is classified as a “hazardous drug,” requiring proper handling and disposal. This means that the drug can produce significant side effects, especially if the woman has taken more than one or two doses. The most common side effects are fatigue, disruption of normal menstrual flow, nausea, and abdominal pain. Less common side effects include dizziness, loss of periods, vaginal hemorrhage, and breast tenderness. Plan B also negatively interacts with many medicines taken for other health conditions, such as antidiabetics, warfarin, medications for HIV, as well as popular supplements such as herbs and St. John’s wort. If used over a long period of time, Plan B can significantly disrupt the menstrual cycle and hormones that control that cycle. It is highly critical to note that Plan B does not decrease the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

Make sure you fully understand any medication that you put into your body. Plan B may seem like a good alternative at the time, but it’s limitations, possible side effects and the exact way that it works in your body may cause you to rethink that decision. Knowing that not all types contraception are the same is an important first step.

If you want more information about the Morning After Pill, start here at our website. You will find a list of questions that you should consider when making the decision. It is easy to schedule an appointment with us to discuss what options you have, as well as the facts you need about those options. And best of all, the appointment is totally free and can be scheduled online in complete privacy!

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The above post was written in part by Elise Loughman, who is a current medical student. Excerpts and information for this article were taken from UpToDate, a source of evidence-based medicine.

Additional articles about Sex Education:
What You Need To Know About HPV
Bacterial Vaginosis

Love Shouldn’t Hurt – Signs Of Domestic Violence

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“But he loves me”… “But I love him”… “But she loves me”… “But I love her”

These are words heard all too often from women and men who have become victims of domestic violence. In these cases, “love” has become a twisted game of power and control in the victim’s lives.

In a healthy relationship, there is trust, honesty, compassion, forgiveness, respect and communication. Above all, there are boundaries – both emotional and physical. One person in the relationship communicates their boundaries, and in return, the other respects these set boundaries.

In a relationship where there is no respect or value of your emotional and physical health, and boundaries have either never been set or are constantly violated and not respected, the victim finds it hard to stand strong against what they believe in for the sake of “love.”

Statistically, 80% of domestic violence comes from one person in the relationship;
20% from both people in the relationship.

A warped sense of love has been affected by the cycle of abuse. The cycle of abuse often loops from explosion, to a calm lull, to tension. The cycle is then repeated over and over by the abuser. Often, phrases such as, “I’m sorry, take me back” or occasionally, “This is all your fault. You need to do better!” are used to keep the cycle going. Don’t be deceived. Abusers will use many different things to control: sex, privilege, gifts (buying your affection and trust, big promises), technology (monitoring your calls, texts, Facebook, voicemail), intimidation (stalking, harassment), threats (“If you leave me I’ll _____,” “If you do this I’ll_____,”), your spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.

None of these things equal love.

In these moments, please consider what it is that you think you love about that person. Remember that actions speak louder than words and that these actions and words are being masked by manipulation and control, even if it seems to be the most loving of situations.

Remember the true definition of love:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Things to remember if you find yourself in an abusive relationship
First, it’s not your fault! If you have dealt with a past trauma in your life, or struggled growing up in an abusive or neglectful home, it may have changed how you view yourself. You may feel that no one loves you, or that you don’t deserve to be loved or have true happiness. There is nothing farther from the truth. You have so much value and worth, and you are worthy of respect! You deserve so much better than this life you are living.
Take time to consider if you’re ready to be in a relationship. You may need to take some time to establish a stronger sense of identity before committing to a relationship. If you find yourself feeling insecure with being alone, without being in a relationship (feeling like this relationship is better than no relationship, your worth comes through being in a dating relationship, or you aren’t clear on what qualities you want in a person to date), then you need to take some time to process through all these things first. It may be time to break up if any of the following are true: you can’t be yourself, you feel dominated and controlled, you feel betrayed by their actions, you don’t feel physically or emotionally safe around them, you feel disrespected by them, they can’t respect your boundaries. As hard as it may be, your well-being and safety are the biggest priority.

At Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we are here to talk with you and be a support system for you if you find yourself faced with a domestic violence situation. We can also provide you with professional counseling referrals and referrals for women to community organizations like Safehome or Rose Brooks.

You are not alone, and there is help through this crisis.

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