Call Helpline: 913.962.0200

Month: June 2018

On Becoming a Grandparent – An Extension of Our Life and Influence

Posted on

Pregnancy does not just affect the individual female and male involved – it also affects the parents of those individuals. Parents hold a unique position in the lives of their children, no matter how young or old that child is. One father/doctor offers a beautiful perspective of the special opportunity being a grandparent is.

This past March a very significant and joyful event happened in our family. My oldest daughter had a beautiful baby girl. I found out that this baby was coming by accident before I was supposed to know about it. I kept this knowledge a secret until my daughter announced her pregnancy to the family. This was difficult because I normally don’t keep significant secrets from my wife. It was interesting to be on the “other side” of this experience. I am involved in the birth of babies on a daily basis, but I never had an experience like this. Waiting in the family waiting room for my daughter to give birth was driving me crazy; I was so worried about her and the baby and worried they would have a complication. It gave me a greater empathy for the families of my patients. Even though I knew she was in good hands, the relief I felt when she finally delivered and I knew everyone was ok was immense. Seeing my granddaughter for the first time took me back 27 years to St John’s Medical Center when I witnessed the birth of my own daughter – my granddaughter is practically a clone of my daughter and it is difficult to distinguish between their baby pictures. Her smile and laugh is the same as my daughters was. She is truly a bundle of joy.

To me, having grandchildren is an extension of my own life. Our time on this earth is limited . . . but our descendants carry our lives forward when we are gone. Part of my father is in me and part of both he and I are in my daughter and granddaughter. I am happy that God created the world this way.

As grandparents I think it is important to share our values with our children and grandchildren. They live in a different world than we grew up in and our love and empathy mean so much to them.

I have always been perplexed when parents encourage their children to end a pregnancy.
To me, that would seem like destroying a part of myself.

I frequently meet patients that have never formed an opinion about abortion until they were facing it as an option – this is tragic! As grandparents, we should discuss these things with our descendants. Being a grandparent is a life changing event and we should let our loved ones know this.

The influence you have on your children is stronger than you could ever imagine. You offer a unique view that no one else can.

Is your child facing a tough decision regarding their future? We have resources that you can pass along as well as take advantage of yourself. Let us help you as you help them.  Come in and talk to us. We have people on site who can relate to you because they have been in your shoes . . . and those who can relate to your pregnant loved one because they have been in those shoes! You just might find some hope and answers for all involved!

 

Pathways Dad’s Class: Giving Voice to the Other Party

Posted on

In the unexpected, the focus often shifts to the mother. But there is a whole different side that often gets overlooked – the father! Being a father is a big responsibility and it’s not easy to walk the path of the unknown alone. The great news is that you don’t have to. A friend of Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center) has shared about how Pathways affects him and the fathers that come in.

I have been working with Pathways since the program started almost two years ago.  For most of the first year, we had a very small group of men attending. However, I was happy to be there if even one dad found it worthwhile.  We are still a fairly small group, but we have a few dads who attend regularly and I know that number will continue to grow.

We have a laid back structure, avoiding a strict curriculum for now.  We meet the first and third Tuesdays of each month and a lot of the Dads come when they are able. We completely understand when a Dad has to occasionally work late, take care of a sick child or has another commitment.

We don’t follow lesson plans because of our relaxed structure but we do something incredibly important: we talk.

I have almost 30 years of experience as a dad and I’ve learned some things over those 30 years that I am able share.  I come prepared with a topic and general ideas to discuss, but we have often found it very beneficial to the group to simply go wherever the discussion leads. We might talk about finances, work/life balance, taking care of Mom, somebody’s good or bad day, sometimes even the Royals – whatever the guys want to talk about that night.  I find that the dads, with their more recent experiences, can often learn as much from each other as they do from me.

As with most of my volunteer efforts, I find that being a part of this group helps me as much as it helps the men who attend.  We have a great group, but we always have room for more.  If you can only make it once in a while or have to show up late, that’s fine.  Please join us.

Getting plugged in to a group of like-minded individuals can make a whole world of difference to someone who is hurting, confused, or alone. Pathways provides that opportunity. Here at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center), we care not just about the women but also about the men that come through our doors. Men, you too have a voice that deserves to be heard and acknowledged. Let us help you get your voice heard.

Book An Appointment

Dear Dad – It’s OK, You Don’t Have To Be Perfect!

Posted on

The following was shared with us by one of our male volunteers. We thought it was timely, as we look ahead to Father’s Day soon, to hear from a dad on what it is like to be a dad. His words are extremely encouraging to any man out there who is afraid of becoming a dad for the first time (or maybe even the second or third time!).

Seth is also a pastor at a local church. If you have questions about becoming a dad – or just need to talk to another man – Seth is available to talk to you. Just schedule an appointment and we can arrange a time for you to get encouragement and answers from him.

I’m Going to Be a Dad!
I can remember it like it was yesterday, the feeling I had when my wife told me she was pregnant. I was excited, terrified, confused, terrified, anxious, terrified…you get the point. I was just 23 years old, hadn’t been to college, and was now about to be a father. Did I mention I was terrified?

I quickly learned that my son was coming, whether I was ready or not. I couldn’t halt his growth with my fear or stop his development with my procrastination. I read books about development stages and parenting strategies – yet still felt like I wasn’t ready. It wasn’t until I realized that I couldn’t be a perfect father, that I became comfortable with the idea of being a father. I didn’t have to know everything or read every book to be a father – I just had to love my wife and my son. I realized that love compels us to action. If I simply focused on my love for my wife and my son, then that love would help me make decisions that demonstrated my love to them.

I didn’t have to DO anything except BE a father.

There is No Such Thing as the Perfect Dad
I stopped trying to be him long ago. But, I do pursue being the best father I can be. Where I find my best inspiration is in the Bible. When I see how God interacts with His children I see a Perfect Father. I see how love, discipline, devotion, mercy, sympathy, compassion, strength and sacrifice come together in a perfect example for me to follow. While I can’t be a perfect father, I can follow my Perfect Father in hopes of being changed day to day by Him. His love for me compels my love for my family.

Through faith in Jesus we have been adopted, chosen by God, to be His children. It is only through the love that we have experienced in Christ that we are able to love others. Without Jesus, I can’t love my wife and children as I should. As I grow in my relationship with Jesus the more I realize love is manly. Love is the engine that powers a life of sacrifice, devotion and strength that is required to be a dad.

You can’t be a perfect dad, but you can experience the love of a Perfect Father through Jesus Christ. Do you know Him?

It’s ok. You can’t be a perfect Dad. But you can BE a Dad, full of love and demonstrating that love on a daily basis.

Want to talk to someone? We can help! 

Book An Appointment