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Men Helping Other Men – Our Bridges Program {A Man’s Point of View}

The following post was written by *Mark, a volunteer with our Bridges Program here at Two Lines Pregnancy Clinic (formerly Advice & Aid Pregnancy Center). He is sharing his experience and knowledge so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation, and that other men can know they are not alone.

The stories that are shared here come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had as they dealt with unplanned pregnancy. *All names have been changed.


 

It’s been a long time since I starting talking with the young, dedicated dads who joined the Bridges* program. I’ve been blessed to get to know dozens of men who weren’t sure on day one that they even wanted to stick around and yet now, they are becoming great dads. There is so much powerful learning in the Bridges classes. Plus, the brotherhood experienced in going through a challenge together is amazing. All the guys learn from each other, not just the mentors.

Many of the guys in the program didn’t have the benefit of great parenting role models when they were growing up. Often, they didn’t know how to parent effectively, or how to support their girlfriend in a positive way to take care of their baby. It can be overwhelming.

A young man who had served in the Army in Afghanistan spoke to me one night about how unsure he was about raising his child. He was still getting used to life back in the states when his son was born. As he held his 8-week-old baby during our talk he asked a very challenging question.

“Is it ok that I haven’t bonded with my son?”

I didn’t expect a question like that. But we talked about what it means to bond and that for some it takes a little while longer than others. I was able to encourage him to see the positives his new family had going for them. I think he felt better after our talk and he became a regular at Bridges. He wanted to be a good father.

With the right attitude and time spent talking about their parenting approach with their girlfriend, the guys we work with often get it figured out. They determine what works for them and their new family. It is so amazing to see the growth from week to week. I think the most impressive thing I’ve witnessed is simply the willingness to try new things and learn about how to raise a child. It’s easier to pretend like they don’t need help, but these men make the effort and show courage in getting help to be a better dad. Despite what the world says, it takes a real man to ask for help!

I think some of the most rewarding times I have seen is when a young man or woman in Bridges learns to trust again and ask for help. It is often the broken dynamics of their childhood that contribute to the decisions that lead to unexpected pregnancy. Many times, they have lost the ability to trust. It is an important step to help them learn that they can trust again. When they learn to trust, getting the right help for their family becomes much easier.

The most rewarding part of helping the young families in our program is that they are all trying hard and they are so grateful for our time together. The guys are appreciative of the time we spend with them on Tuesday or Thursday nights. They can hardly believe that someone is willing to give their time to talk with them about the challenges in raising a family. For many of the guys I spoke with, they hadn’t seen much giving from the men in their lives growing up, so they didn’t know what to think at first when somebody offered to help them. Now they know that Bridges volunteers are there to love and serve them.


If you are a man who could use the encouragement and training from a group of men who are there to help you succeed at the tough job of parenting, don’t hesitate to ask for help! Begin by making an easy call (913.962.0200) to ask about our Bridges program

*Bridges Program
Bridges is Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid)’s parenting support group. The goal of the program is to equip and support new parents who face either an unplanned pregnancy or a planned pregnancy but need additional assistance by providing a safe, loving, compassionate environment where they can grow and flourish. We do this by offering a two year program that includes large group education, small group connecting, and creating community through meals and special events.

Additional stories by Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) volunteers & staff:
Emily’s Story – Why I help Others
Abby’s Story – Unexpected Pregnancy & the Information You Need Most

Encouragement During Pregnancy – Our Story

Many times, it can be hard to keep going. Even for us, knowing that what we do truly provides help to those who are in a crisis pregnancy, it can be difficult sometimes. So often we run into road blocks, barriers and problems. People often oppose us. It can sometimes feel overwhelming for us.

But then, just when we need it, an encouragement comes our way. It can take many different forms . . . but is always the right words at just the right time for us. And because you are interested in what we do (even just by taking the time to read this post), we wanted to share that encouragement with you. The following was given to us by someone who found our services to be valuable. They were the words we needed to keep on keeping on.

I want to thank God for letting us attend the classes at Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid). Each class provides a wonderful opportunity for us to grow in both our personal lives and parenting skills.  There is so much valuable information that we are gaining from these classes that help us truly be better parents.

We are learning that at times, we need to further educate ourselves and make changes in our habits or our way of thinking. Neither of us feel that we had the right kind of parenting modeled in our own homes as we were growing up. Prior to these classes, parenting for us was based more on feeling than on actual knowledge of correct parenting skills.

Due to our attendance the Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid) classes, our baby is blessed to get exactly what she needs. These things are not limited to just parenting skills for us, but also material needs for our daughter (diapers, clothes, toys, food, furniture, etc). By attending classes, we receive points that can be exchanged for items that we need. It is a rewarding way to receive assistance.

 Since we began our time with Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), we feel more confident as parents because of the education we now have. From what to expect during the pregnancy, to step by step encouragement and knowledge as we began parenting, we have developed close friendships with the wonderful people who provide the help and support we need.

It is through stories like this that we find the encouragement we need to keep going. Despite the opposition we sometimes feel, we know that helping these precious ladies and their families is the most rewarding and fulfilling calling we could answer.

If you are interested in learning how you can be involved in changing lives for the better through Two Lines (formerly Advice & Aid), please visit our partner page here.

To read more stories of the women we have helped, visit our blog:
Bethany’s Story
Brian’s Story
Megan’s Story